When Actions Don't Speak Louder

September 15, 2011 by Joseph Susanka

Continued from Page 1

Similar to the transcendent works of Yasujirô Ozu that Wang's film so clearly seeks to emulate, A Thousand Years of Good Prayers grapples with the cultural divide that sprang up between so many generations during the 20th century, particularly in the Far East. But unlike Ozu, whose focus on generational conflicts overshadowed nearly all other themes, Wang's interest is drawn to another fundamental and profound truth regarding the relationship between parents and their children: kids are profoundly influenced by their parents' actions. But they are also deeply and dramatically influenced by their parents' explanations. We would be well-served to recognize that both are essential parts of the environments we create for those for which we have the most responsibility: our young ones.

Teaching by example is an important part of living out our lives as effective parents and faithful Catholics. But it is vital to remember that while "actions speak louder than words," they don't always say exactly what we want them to say, even to those nearest and dearest to us. Sometimes, what we do is less vital to our children's formation than why we did it.

Being "ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason" is a daunting task, particular when the actual explanation will require a bit of distillation to be understood by a child, and when the one doing the asking is relentlessly curious. Is it any wonder that "because I said so" springs so readily to the lips, or that the strong, silent type has become an appealing parenting model for a father like myself? But as Wang's film so movingly shows us, refusing to give one's reasons or spell out one's principles can be as damaging as it can be easy. Silence is not always the best policy.

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9/15/2011 4:00:00 AM

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Through a Lens Darkly

A Thousand Years of Good Prayers

Wayne Wang

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About Joseph Susanka

Joseph Susanka has been doing development work for institutions of Catholic higher education since his graduation from Thomas Aquinas College in 1999. He blogs at Crisis Magazine, where he also contributes feature articles on a variety of topics.

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