From "just sex" to "Just Sex"

July 10, 2011 by P. Sufenas Virius Lupus

Continued from Page 1

The ways in which "just sex" ends up being devalued and almost ignored, though, in wider society as well as in Pagan circles, is rather upsetting. In queer life, treating sex as if it is not important, or even becoming over-obsessed with it in compulsive ways, or not practicing safe sex, or just doing it when one is drunk, or any number of other things (which also happen in non-queer circles!), leads to innumerable abuses and devaluings of the experience and the realities involved. The amount of abusive and compulsive sex going on in the world today is staggering and horrific; and yet, the amount of unfulfilling and mechanistic sex is also staggering and horrific.

Ideally, sex between two people is a locus in which a profound opening of souls and bodies (but, primarily bodies-and there's nothing wrong with that!) can take place, and from which all sorts of wonderful things like creativity, inspiration, becoming energized, and developing emotional connections with the people involved are then possible. I would argue that it is only possible to have this type of sexual experience if one is doing full justice to one's own unique personhood, in all of its dimensions, as well as doing full justice to the personhood of one's chosen partners.

Not every sexual experience done in this way would be earth-shatteringly and star-shiningly amazing or intense or beautiful. But it wouldn't have to be if it was fulfilling and did justice to the reality of the people involved on the occasion concerned.

This ideal of doing sexual justice for oneself and for the ones with whom one is sexually involved, would be the move from doing "just sex" to doing "Just Sex"-and, I would suggest, it is a move that can be accomplished with absolutely no major changes in behavior or technique, but instead a change in attitude and in viewpoint on one's sexual life, and also to one's own understanding of oneself.

By doing full justice to one's own sexual self and wider personhood, and likewise that of one's chosen partners, I would suggest that one affirms the justice that many of us have experienced as the province of the gods. Through this, one is able to bring the reality of the gods more into the world in one's sexual activities, and indeed, one is able to make justice in the wider world more incarnate as well.

Page: 2 of 2

7/10/2011 4:00:00 AM

Pagan

Queer I Stand

GLBT

Paganism

more at patheos

MA Enacts Law Allowing Abortion at any Stage of Pregnancy

Rebecca Hamilton

Chapter 3 Quest: The Ivory Tower Hits the Ground

Dorian Cole

The Thief Who, Like Us, Was Crucified with Christ

Gene Veith

What Is Worth Wanting? A Guide to What Matters Most

Carl Gregg

About P. Sufenas Virius Lupus

P. Sufenas Virius Lupus is a metagender and a founding member of the Ekklesía Antínoou (a queer, Graeco-Roman-Egyptian syncretist reconstructionist polytheist religious group dedicated to Antinous, the deified lover of the Roman Emperor Hadrian and other related gods and divine figures). E is a contributing member of Neos Alexandria and a Celtic Reconstructionist pagan in the filidecht and gentlidecht traditions. Follow Lupus' work on the Aedicula Antinoi blog.

Patheos Logo Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos