Beyond 'Just say No!': Sex Ed and Youth Ministry

April 26, 2010

Continued from Page 2

Teaching with an eye toward moral development can greatly impact adolescent cognitive developmental. During adolescence, teensmove from concrete thinking to abstract thinking. This movement encompasses the ability to plan for the future and understand the future consequences of their actions. Cognitive maturity is central to decision-making in romantic relationships as it "may place limits on his or her ability to plan for sexual relationships, clearly articulate personal values, negotiate with a partner, and obtain contraception and condoms [to prevent risk of STIs or pregnancy]" (National Commission on Adolescent Sexual Health). As well, cognitive ability is often determinant of one's capacity for empathy, "being able to see a situation from another person's perspective." Thus, cognitive development -- movement from concrete to abstract thinking -- helps youth begin to see how they fit within the larger world, how their actions affect others positively and negatively, and how another person perceives their actions regardless of intent. These skills are necessary to developing healthy relationships and sustaining sexual partnerships.

Sexuality education is a uniquely appropriate place to integrate moral education since most discussions revolve around personal identity, relationship building, and moral dilemmas. Religious institutions may dislike that moral education promotes questioning of established values. On the other hand, it also promotes integration and internalization of values that have been adequately understood and examined, rather than blind acceptance or forced reception. Moral education techniques include role-playing, presenting moral dilemmas, and developing ownership and leadership of group culture (e.g., group behavior covenant). We can think of this process as teens having the chance to "make values their own." It is an opportunity to take values, put them into practice, mold and shape them to fit their lives and relationships.

Practice What We Preach

More often than not, teens will adopt the core values of their tradition and own them for themselves, bringing their moral identity into line with their faith tradition's teachings. How we as religious educators, youth ministers, clergy, and parents act may have the most influence. The actual, real life choices that youth observe adults making have a greater impact on what decision the youth might make in the future that does our teaching or preaching. Robert Coles suggests that observing others helps shape the instantaneous moral decisions one needs to make. What faith communities often call the formation of a "faithful" person, adolescent development literature describes as the formation of a conceptual identity. William Damon and Anne Gregory point out, "unless students are provided with contexts where they can reconcile the general principles of moral education with the specific demands of life's moral tasks, their moral lessons will remain too vague, bland, and disengaged from their own lives to provide any enduring influence on the formation of their personal identities." In effect, moral formation is influenced primarily by real actions we observe, participate in by community affiliation, or those in which we directly participate. What relationship models are evident in your faith community? Are they positive and healthy examples that the youth will learn to emulate? No matter what we teach or preach, we need to remember that our actions have great influence on our teen's future decisions.

In a sincere effort to move youth sexuality education beyond Just say No!, what should we say? Say sexuality is a positive and healthy part of our createdness, including affirmations of sexual pleasure. Say the qualities of a relationship define its moral character more so than the sexual behaviors in which two people engage. Act in a manner consistent with the values you teach and give youth the opportunity to work on the same. We have an obligation to recognize that teens benefit from having positive role models, a supportive environment, and opportunities to practice and integrate faith values into their lives. Faith communities can play an integral role in helping adolescents define personal values and beliefs about the integrity of one's body; name and evaluate understandings of love, intimacy, and pleasure; and provide space for reflection on personal and communal responsibility in relationships.

Dr. Kate M. Ott is Deputy Director of the Religious Institute. She holds a doctorate in Social Ethics from Union Theological Seminary in New York. She teaches seminary course in ethics and sexuality, and offers workshops and trainings for congregations on sexuality education for parents, teens, and educators. She currently serves as project director for the national "Sex and the Seminary: Preparing Ministers for Sexual Justice and Health" project. In addition to a number of scholarly articles, Dr. Ott is co-author of the second edition of A Time to Speak: Faith Communities and Sexuality Education and two other faith-based guides. She is also the co-editor of the recently released Just Hospitality: God's Welcome in a World of Riotous Difference.

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