Is the Conversation About Consent Enough? Or Do We Need to Talk About Intimacy?

Last updated on: August 16, 2018 at 2:21 pm by Zach Hoag

Is the Conversation About Consent Enough? Or Do We Need to Talk About Intimacy? 2018-08-16T14:21:34-05:00 Zach Hoag

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

At the Washington Post, Jonathan Zimmerman is pushing for the latter – and it makes sense. And from my perspective, the church should be setting a very high bar here (we are not) in modeling the centrality of intimacy, and covenant commitment, in Christian coupling. And this, not as a way of shaming sex or bodies or even those who engage or have engaged in casual sex, but rather as the high call to which we are graciously invited, that completely affirms the goodness of sex and bodies and is rooted in forgiveness for any failures.

Here’s Zimmerman:

University administrators take it for granted that a certain amount of sex will be “casual,” that is, devoid of intimate emotion or connection. But our rules now require the sharing of feelings, even in an encounter that is by definition divorced from them. We simply assume that virtual strangers will be having sex. But we urge them — or, even legally enjoin them — to communicate openly and explicitly about it.

Good luck with that. We might succeed in cajoling more students into some kind of verbal consent. But that’s a script, a bedroom contract between sexual vendors. Yes, it will make the whole transaction legal. But consensual? Really? If you met somebody an hour ago, how can you tell what they want? And since you know so little about them, aren’t you more likely to do something that they don’t want, no matter what kind of “consent” they have given?

I’d like to suggest a modest addition to our campaigns against sexual assault on campus: Instead of simply pleading with students to ask for explicit consent when having sex, we should be asking them why they are having sex in the first place.

What are your thoughts on Zimmerman’s piece?

Previous Post

October 14, 2015

A Draft of the 1611 King James Bible is Found, Delighting "Onlyists" Everywhere

Next Post

October 15, 2015 Bernie Says Her Name: The Story Behind Sanders and Sandra Bland

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month December 2018 August 2018 July 2018 July 2017 May 2017 January 2017 November 2016 October 2016 August 2016 July 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 March 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 March 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz