Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Cedars and Sandhills

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
Why wait until you’re a grandparent? Take your second chance NOW.

Why wait until you’re a grandparent? Take your second chance NOW.

Last updated on: November 10, 2015 at 4:19 pm by Zeke Pipher

Why wait until you’re a grandparent? Take your second chance NOW. 2015-11-10T16:19:44-07:00 Zeke Pipher

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

One of the common statements I hear today when I talk with grandparents is, “I’m loving this second-chance at parenting.”

I’m all for second chances and for grandparents making the most of grand-parenting, but it seems that if we first-chance parents can anticipate the need for a second chance twenty or thirty years down the road, and then use that wisdom to make adjustments today… we could spare ourselves and our families a tremendous amount of pain and loss.

Now, I realize there is a wisdom that comes from trial and error and by simply being alive for sixty years; there’s often not a way to truncate the life’s lessons curriculum. However, that’s not usually the type of second chances grandparents seem to be referring to. It seems like many first-round mistakes have to do with priorities and values, and not with experience and know-how. For example, this past week I talked with a younger grandfather as he watched his four-year old grandson play outside. He made the “second chance” comment, and when I asked him what he’s doing differently this time, he said, “I’m paying attention. I’m trying to be present in a way that I wasn’t present for my son.”

That grandparent’s reflection reminds me of other answers I’ve received when asking this question. For instance, “I wouldn’t yell as much,” or “I wouldn’t get so worried about money,” or “I would say ‘yes’ more,” or “I wouldn’t spend as much time on my hobbies or my career.”

Why do we need the years to pile on regret, shame, and loss in order to wake us up and make us better the second time around? Why can’t we first-time mothers and fathers anticipate our twenty-year-down-the-road regrets, and then make changes today to prevent them? Why can’t we second-chance parent the first time around?

second chance parenting

Previous Post

November 4, 2015

Dads who are present... long after they're gone

Next Post

May 25, 2016 We don't need fathers! ...Or, do we?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which letter has the "armor of God" passage?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Ephesians Philippians Colossians 2 Timothy