Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Cedars and Sandhills

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
Fathers, Don’t Blow the In-the-Home QTR

Fathers, Don’t Blow the In-the-Home QTR

Last updated on: May 29, 2013 at 2:13 pm by Zeke Pipher

Fathers, Don’t Blow the In-the-Home QTR 2013-05-29T14:13:40-06:00 Zeke Pipher

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As we approach Father’s Day, here are a few thoughts on the importance of being an active, engaged dad during the “in the home years.” We never get them back.

Excerpt from “Man on the Run” by Zeke Pipher

The Most Important Quarter

A man may get seventy, perhaps eighty years, on this earth before his last sunset. The time that our children live under our roof, needing us to wrestle, tickle, discipline, snuggle, bait hooks, and do the hundred other things dads are designed to do, lasts eighteen, perhaps twenty-three, years. That’s around a quarter of a man’s life.

This is the most important quarter. Yet, it’s also one of the busiest. These children-in-the-home years tend to occur at the same time that men find success in their careers. This success at work often provides additional income to spend on hobbies and recreational activities. Work, hobbies, and sports are fine pursuits, but they turn sour quickly if they replace the time our kids need us to spend in our zoos.

Life has a way of getting busy, and then getting away from us. It’s a part of the human condition. I’ve probably heard the voices of two hundred older fathers tell me, “Make the most of these years when your children are at home. They go by quickly.” I believe these voices. They haunt me as I push my daughters on our rope swing out back, or as I’m teaching my son how to hold his glove when he’s catching a pop fly.

When I drive my youngest child to college, help her move in, and then hug her good-bye, I want to drive away exhausted. Spent. Tired, not from the move, but from the past twenty-two years of giving my children every ounce of everything I had to offer as a dad. I can’t imagine the regret of saying good-bye to those in-the-home-years while realizing that there was so much more that I could have done.

There’s a poignant moment at the end of the movie Schindler’s List that I think about when I think about saying good-bye to the in-the-home years. Oskar Schindler is being honored and appreciated by a crowd of Jewish men, women, and children that he helped save during World War II. Itzhak Stern, Schindler’s accountant and friend, hands him a ring, which has written on it in Hebrew: “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.”

Schindler breaks down in tears. For all he did to save people, all he can think about is how he could have done more.

Schindler replies to Stern’s gift by stating, “I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.” A moment later, Schindler looks at his car with despair in his eyes, “This car! Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep this car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.”

As Schindler drives away, the streets are lined with the faces of the people he saved. Their eyes are reflective and thankful. But his eyes are sullen, filled with grief. He’s battling his demons. He could have done more.

I don’t want to drop my youngest off at college, or walk her to the front of the church, and feel that I could have done more. I want to feel utterly exhausted and completely satisfied inside.

To order Man on the Run, click here!

Most important quarter

Previous Post

May 23, 2013

Memorial Day, SEALS, and Motivations

Next Post

May 30, 2013 Country living and the birds out back

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What did Jesus do for His disciples at the Last Supper?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Gave them money Sent them away Washed their feet Fed them fish