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5 Dumb Things I Did (Or Almost Did) In Past 10 Days

5 Dumb Things I Did (Or Almost Did) In Past 10 Days

Last updated on: December 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm by Zeke Pipher

5 Dumb Things I Did (Or Almost Did) In Past 10 Days 2012-12-20T13:58:44-07:00 Zeke Pipher

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1. Chased a mouse in my boot: On Monday night, I slipped on my Muck Boots to grab some wood for the fireplace. When I stepped into the garage, I heard a squeak. Another mouse, you’ve got to be kidding me, I thought. I went into hunt-mode, flipped on the light, and looked around. Nothing. I took a couple more steps toward the woodpile, and then heard another squeak. Forget the wood, I’m catching that thing! I got on my hands and knees and looked under the van, behind shelves, and around the tool bench. I called the cats in and we hunted together for about twenty minutes…before I figured out the squeak was actually coming from something rubbing inside the heel of my boot.

2. Open Pandora’s Box: I take our children out on a one-on-one shopping outing every Christmas season. We eat dinner and then hit the mall together. Ten days ago, on my daddy/daughter date with my 7-year old, I made a rookie mistake: after we were done buying presents, I remembered that my wife had told me that my holey, old underwear wouldn’t withstand another washing, so I decided to take advantage of being at the mall to pick up some new skivvies. Claire tagged along with me into the department store. Let me just say, the billboards and posters in the underwear section of Younkers were not made for young eyes. I fielded comments NON-STOP from my grossed-out, offended daughter for the next fifteen minutes.

3. Ordered Legos on eBay: We wanted to get our 9-year old, Aidan, a slew of Legos for Christmas. It was going to be his “big gift.” So I went online and ordered 1,500 Legos from someone on eBay, thinking that must be a massive amount of those snappy little things. …I knew I was in trouble when the UPS guy delivered Aidan’s “big gift” in a package the size of a Kleenex box.

4. Wrestled with my kids: I’ve had a sore neck for about three days, and last night by the fire, as Draco hit Central Nebraska, Claire and Aidan begged me to wrestle. By the time we were finished, I knew I was in trouble. And I am. I could barely get out of bed this morning. It took a hot shower, a backrub, and 800 mg. of ibuprofen to get me out the door.

5. About said no to wrestling with my kids: The first time my kids asked me to wrestle last night, I said, No, I’ve got a sore back. Maybe next week. Then I remembered last week and the tragedy in Newtown. So…I crawled onto the floor for thirty minutes of “go time.” This morning, even though I wince every time I move, I have no regrets.

Christmas Present Idea for husbands, fathers, sons, and friends: “Man on the Run: Helping Hyper-Hobbied Men Recognize The Best Things In Life”

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