American Jesus Madness 2016: Make Jesus Great Again!

Last updated on: March 7, 2016 at 8:58 am by Zack Hunt

American Jesus Madness 2016: Make Jesus Great Again! 2016-03-07T08:58:01-06:00 Zack Hunt

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Wow.

Whoa.

That was some tournament last year. Thousand of votes. Thousands.

So nice, thank you very much. That’s really nice. Thank you.

I want to congratulate Yoga Pants on the winning of American Jesus Madness 2015. They worked hard on that — I know how hard they worked actually, and so I congratulate them on that win. That was an excellent win even if the tournament was filled with a bunch of small losers. And, I can tell, some of the players, they went in. They didn’t know the air-conditioner didn’t work. They sweated like dogs.

But Yoga Pants aren’t great. I’m sorry, they’re just aren’t. They didn’t have anybody there to beat last year. How are they going to beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

Look, our country is in serious trouble. The last 8 years have been a total disaster. We don’t have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don’t have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China? They kill us. Real Americans beat China all the time. All the time.

I’m a true believer. And you’re many true believers — I hope all — is everybody a true believer here? I think so. But Christianity is under tremendous siege. Which is why we need a new champion of American Christianity.

We’re going to make Jesus great again, folks. We’re going to make him great again.

But I need your help.

[SEE NOTE BELOW]

AJM2016poster

Starting today and running through Friday, March 11th I’ll be taking submissions for who or what or where or whatever you want to see in the tournament this year. Just leave your suggestions in the comments below or tweet them to me (use #AJM2016) or find a presidential candidate and have them fill up a hot air ballon for you and float your suggestions my way. I’ll add them to the list, select the best ones, and create a bracket.

I’ll release the bracket on Monday, March 14th.

And, per tradition, I’ll offer my first round breakdown on Tuesday, March 15th to help guide you in your voting.

Brackets will be due on Wednesday, March 16th and the 2016 American Jesus Madness tournament will begin bright and early on Thursday, March 17th.

Like that other March Madness tournament you may have heard about, half the fun of American Jesus Madness is filling out a bracket and picking the winners. Last year, Haydn Campmier fended off all challengers to become our 2015 bracket champion. But this year could be your year. All you’ve got to do is fill out a bracket and you could be the one to make Jesus great again!

Anyway, I’ll keep reminding you good folks over the coming the days to get your suggestions in for the tournament. You just make sure you’re here next Monday to download your bracket.

And in the meantime, help me spread the good news.

The end of Christian persecution in America is nigh.

We’re going to make Jesus great again.

Because American Jesus Madness has returned!!

NOTE: The intro to this post (everything before the tourney info began) is taken almost verbatim from Donald Trump speeches, grammatical insanity and all. The obvious exceptions being references to American Jesus Madness.

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March 14, 2016 American Jesus Madness 2016 - The Bracket

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