The 2015 American Jesus Madness Champion Is….

Last updated on: March 25, 2015 at 8:07 am by Zack Hunt

The 2015 American Jesus Madness Champion Is…. 2015-03-25T08:07:29-06:00 Zack Hunt

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After an untold amount of work hours were squandered by thousands of Americans across this great land of ours, a 67% to 33% blowout has given us our 2015 American Jesus Madness champion.

Yoga Pants.

I know it seems ridiculous that an article of workout clothing could be this year’s champion of American Christianity. But in a way, I think it’s kinda perfect. After all, for all the legitimate issues facing both the Church and the broader world today, in American Christianity there are few things we love doing more than arguing over things that don’t really matter and shaming people who don’t agree with us because “Oh no!! This thing totally matters and if you don’t understand why it’s because you’re a sinner and you’re going to hell!!”

So, to that great pantheon of unnecessary squabbles that includes such legendary figures as The Color of the Carpet at Church and Which Style of Music is the Holiest, we now add the bane of Christian Men Everywhere: Yoga Pants.

Congratulations, Yoga Pants.

You may not be the champion we need, but you’re certainly the champion we deserve.

And speaking of champions, with 130 points Haydn Campmier is this year’s Bracket Champion!!

Congrats Haydn!!

And as always, I hope you had as much fun as I did.

We’ll be back at it again next, but in the meantime, do your part to bring a little more sanity to the madness that is American Christianity.

It might make for a less amusing bracket, but if that happens, we all win.

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