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Today, I Take More Time for Self-Care

Today, I Take More Time for Self-Care

Last updated on: October 22, 2026 at 8:31 am by Larry Jordan

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Today, I Take More Time for Self-Care 2026-10-22T08:31:43-05:00 Larry Jordan

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Today, I take more time for self-care. And the single-minded banker who funded schools and streets 25 years ago would not recognize the pony-tailed beachcomber who writes spiritual books.

The single-minded banker who funded schools and streets 25 years ago would barely recognize the pony-tailed beachcomber who writes spiritual books today. Image by Gemini/Ai-generated, in the public domain

The single-minded banker who funded schools and streets 25 years ago would barely recognize the pony-tailed beachcomber who writes spiritual books today. Image by Gemini/AI-generated, in the public domain

The London Institute for Contemporary Christianity (LICC) recently wrote, “‘The key to JOY,’ my Sunday school teacher said, ‘is to love Jesus first, then Others, and last Yourself.’

“A lesson well taught, given that I remember it 17 years on. It counters a worldly culture of selfishness, where travel agents tell me I deserve a holiday and cosmetic companies tell me I’m ‘worth it’, with a Christian culture, giving all of myself without limit to the service of others.

“But is it true? Jesus doesn’t say love others better than, or more than, or instead of yourself. No, he says ‘love others as you love yourself’, in the same way that you love yourself.”

In the deconstruction community, the pleasant-sounding but punishing JOY maxim causes a lot of damage. Christianity raised many of us to believe that we are “intrinsically disordered,” “stained by original sin” or “totally depraved.” Sadly, some people say, “The church traumatized me. I’m done with the Bible, God and Jesus. And I need to recover, to restore some balance.”

I write about “no-self” in Buddhism. And I realize that most of what I call my “self’ is ephemeral, NOT eternal, a product of my chemistry, my conditioning, and outcomes of previous actions. Still, I realize that we have to develop a sense of self before we can acknowledge its limitations. As Abraham Maslow might say, we have to actualize our selves before we can transcend them.

I’m OK with That

I have lived through seasons of falling in love, getting an education, moving across the country (twice), starting a career (twice) and writing books. Some of my friends are former ministers. As ministers, they were leaders in the communities. As former ministers, many of them are defined by their former identities, by what they are NOT. Some are still seeking their new identities.

Shortly after I retired, I was volunteering as a guide at a big airport when a former client disembarked. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Years ago, you helped me borrow $10 million.” “Now,” I replied, “I help people find the restrooms.” He casually remarked, “Well, a lot more people need that than need the other.” We both accepted my new identity.

Am I different, or am I the same? Are my new identities more or less comfortable than my old identities? Are they more or less meaningful? More or less productive? How so? In retrospect, the seasons of my life are obvious. One led to the next. My new identities, very different from my old identities, continue to reflect my previous conditioning and the outcomes of my previous actions.

Recently, I spent a week in South Texas, and I was reflecting on my time there. I spent 15 years financing infrastructure projects along the Mexican border (first-time water and sewer projects, international toll bridges, schools for low-wealth districts). Fast forward 25 years, and those seeds have borne fruit. Small towns are now bustling cities. County roads are now interstate highways.

I Take More Time for Self-Care

Many of my old friends from my old life have died, moved or retired, and I think about my mortality a lot. Thankfully, I am NOT afraid of death, but I am mindful of it. That means my life has an immediacy and urgency it didn’t have when I was younger. Until now, odds are that I would live for another 20 years. At 68, the odds are slightly against me living that long, and I’m OK with that.

In South Texas, I spent lots of time at the beach and the pool. I drank lots of Mexican beer and ate lots of fresh seafood. I napped some, and I read some. Still, stuff came up after we got there. I endorsed a book for a friend. I prepared for three presentations in the next month. And I reviewed a budget, a note offering, and an investment portfolio for some people.

Recently, I had breakfast with a good friend who is caring for a partner with early-stage dementia and another good friend who is a philosopher. At one point, the philosopher told the caregiver, “You should practice some self-care. You need a few more projects.” Then he told me, “You should practice some self-care, too. You need a few less projects.” That was good advice for both of us.

Today, I take more time for self-care.

I See the Writing on the Wall

I’ll always have projects because I enjoy them, and I’m good at them. Still, I’m resolving to spend the next however many years of my life doing more of what I enjoy and less of what I don’t enjoy. More of what fills me and less of what drains me. When I got back home, I followed my friend’s advice. I canceled some unnecessary trips, and I dropped some unproductive activities.

One key difference between older me and younger me is that older me makes more mid-course corrections. Younger me worked until he burned out. Older me likely sees the writing on the wall, the signs that something is NOT quite right. Looking back, I see that I spent too much time in some jobs, too much time in some relationships and too much time in some religions.

Today, I take more time for self-care. And the single-minded banker who funded schools and streets 25 years ago would not recognize the pony-tailed beachcomber who writes spiritual books.

And I’m OK with that. I’m OK with all of it.

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About Larry Jordan

Larry Jordan is a follower of Jesus with a Zen practice. He wrote “The Way,” informed by the Eastern religions, the mystics, and the quantum physicists. "The Way" won a 2024 Nautilus Book Award. You can read more about the author here.

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