Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Why I Am Catholic

Home
For Jesus “Ween?” No Way!

For Jesus “Ween?” No Way!

Last updated on: January 24, 2017 at 6:20 pm by Frank Weathers

For Jesus “Ween?” No Way! 2017-01-24T18:20:02-05:00 Frank Weathers

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This sounds like a job for my 10 year old, Jango Fett the Bounty Hunter. Have a look,

Not no, but hell no! Jesus went to hell and back to save all souls. Every knee will bend when hearing his name. You don’t go adding suffixes to his name, no matter what day of the year it is.

It’s time to teach my youngest the rudiments of the Five-paragraph order: SMEAC.

Situation:

Jedi Master: “Well meaning Christian do-gooders have kidnapped Jesus and have manacled him to the Suffix Ween.” .

Mission:

“Free Jesus from the clutches of the dreaded Suffix named Ween, Jango Fett,”

Execution:

“but bring me the Suffix back alive. Is that understood?”

Jango Fett: “As you wish. Two questions. How much is the bounty and can I punish those who did this to Jesus?”

Administration:

Jedi Master: “The bounty is 100,000 credits, a high premium due to the dangerous reputation of Suffixes. You will be paid upon your arrival, with Ween, to our base on the planet Hethar. As for punishing the captors of Jesus, use only the amount of force necessary to free him from Ween, and that which is necessary for your own self-defense. Use your discretion given the circumstances that you encounter. You are to free Jesus, but to collect your bounty, you must bring me the Suffix alive.”

Logistics:

“I trust your ship is in good condition?”

Jango Fett: “Of course.”

Command and Signals

Jedi Master: “Good. You are on your own then. When you have custody of the Suffix and enter the Hethar system, contact us on Guard Channel 362.5. I wish you success, and may the Force be with you.

Jango Fett: “Thank you. It’s always a pleasure to meet a Jedi”

Jedi Master: “One other thing Jango Fett. Say Trick or Treat as loud as you can and say thank you when you are given candy. The more you get, the more you can share with me.

Jango Fett: “Dad!”

H/T: slacktivist and Wookiepedia.

Previous Post

October 13, 2011

Welcome to the HMS YIMCatholic Open House

Next Post

October 14, 2011 Seal Sings A Psalm!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Blog News Conversion Story Culture Learning Living Nature Prayer Uncategorized Working

Select a Month June 2016 May 2016 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

"Train up a child in the way he should go" is found in which book?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Job Proverbs Matthew Jonah