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Wrestling With Yourself

Day 37 of 90: Moksha Yoga, What is my motivation?

Last updated on: August 16, 2013 at 12:36 pm   by David Matthew Brown

Day 37 of 90: Moksha Yoga, What is my motivation? 2013-08-16T12:36:05-06:00 David Matthew Brown

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I walked into day 37 of 90 straight days of hot yoga at Moksha Yoga LA with a thought moving in my awareness, “What  is my motivation?”  As I continue to practice on my yoga mat, I am noticing the benefits off my mat as well, including patience, and mindfulness.  An example of this was last night, I was about to say something to someone and stopped, then the question came, “What is my motivation here? Is this the right time to share this? Will these words harm or help the conversation?”  I was shocked by these questions.  At the end of the night I spoke, with clarity and love. So I felt like bringing this mindfulness practice to my mat today. As I laid down on my mat I felt the mat on my back, the breath in my body, the space between my toes, the space between my legs, I felt the heaviness of the body, and felt the silence in the room. I asked, “What is my motivation in today’s practice?”  The answer, “mindfulness.”

Our teacher Sophie entered the room, and asked us to engage the breath and let the breath be active in the pose.  Staying in the breath as we moved.  My practice was, what it was today. As I was mindful in the practice I was able to feel different places in the body and able to really feel how different body parts are engaged and active in each pose.  I was mindful of my tired states, my active states, my states where the mind wanted to come in and when mind came in how I felt, and then remind myself to breath again. I notice when my mind comes in and starts thinking, I am probably not breathing. So it was a dance of consciousness today, allowing mindfulness, breath, to adjust and move the body.

I also asked myself in a pose, “What is my motivation here?” I got, “To resist” on one of my poses.  It is funny how quickly our inner guide responds with quick, clear answers, that are simple as well.  I smiled again.  When I breath and have no thought hindering me in the pose, I have been noticing my practice to be fluid and really flow, but when the mind comes, well the toppling tree falls over, I feel constricted, and resistance takes over.   So today’s practice was a wonderful learning for me. Stay mindful in my practice and smile.

On to day 38….Namaste

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