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Wrestling With Yourself

Moksha midpoint, “Where is the switch?”

Last updated on: August 13, 2013 at 8:56 am   by David Matthew Brown

Moksha midpoint, “Where is the switch?” 2013-08-13T08:56:01-06:00 David Matthew Brown

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Later today I will be entering my 15th day of 30 straight days of hot yoga at a wonderful studio and community in Los Angeles called Moksha Yoga.

I was talking to my daughter’s teacher about this challenge and some of my insights and she was very encouraging, she said, “Good for you!”  I was listening to a teacher the other day giving a talk on relationships, and the importance of positive encouragement.  For example, men love to hear from their partners, “I am proud of you, I know how hard you are working, or I know you didn’t get so and so, but I am so proud of you, and what you bring to this world everyday.” And on the other hand, men need to encourage their wives, or partners, with the same positive reinforcement, such as, “You are so beautiful today, or thank you for all you do for our family , or you look great, or I love your laugh, I am blessed so blessed by you, etc…”  I was reminded by this when I heard my daughters teacher compliment me.  There is a lot of telling, fixing, changing, and not a lot of meeting people where they are, and respecting them, cheering them on, not wanting anything in return, just because love gives love. And because when we meet people, we see their divinity and honor them.  Now expecting love and seeing love are two different things.  You may judge me for example, but if I know who I am, then I still see you as love, and know you are caught in your mind, why because I have been there too, and I realize that it is painful place to be. And I listen and bless you inwardly.  This is the practice, everyone is our teacher, and we are learning to be the fullest expression of who we are.

As I enter my midpoint on this 30 day challenge, I realized that I had spent most of my life looking for the switch in the dark. Whether that was called enlightenment, awakening, love, or even light.  Having this big moment when I get “it”. So I took many classes, studied with some of the best teachers, did workshops, read tons of books, counseled, spoke, wrote, meditated, prayed, all with the sense of getting something, some moment, that was already here.  Yes I have grown, yes it has been a wonderful ride, and continues to be, yet now, I find doing these 30 days of hot yoga, to be a practice of being with it, whatever comes up.

Be with the breath, with the pose, with life, and allow the rational mind to surrender itself. Yoga is a practice. A practice of presence.  Presently dancing with the nature of life, and yes life offers you strength like mountain pose, twists in the spine like the struggles of relationships or jobs, flipping life over and seeing it differently like back bends, seeing things different by standing on your head, and of course Shavasana pose or dead pose as it ends.  Yoga has taught me and continues to teach me that the mat is life. We start in child pose, then we go through 40 postures to end on our mat in Shavasana (dead pose).  Like life, yoga offers us, the benefit of being with our growth, our learning, and our presence.  Our life is experienced in 60, 75, or 90 minutes on the mat. Then like life; the thrill, excitement, drama, whatever you choose to experience in each pose is gone in a flash. But in the moment of it, it can feel like a long minute.  A really long minute of breathing into it.  I am honored by this journey, and hope this journey is honoring you as well.  So I ask, “Where is the switch?” I sense the switch is when you can see clearly in the dark. Reminder, all things end, all things have cycle, like your breath.  This to shall pass! Love you

On to day 15 today SWEAT ON!!

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