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Wrestling With Yourself

Day 17: Moksha Yoga, It’s happening?

Last updated on: August 13, 2013 at 8:56 am   by David Matthew Brown

Day 17: Moksha Yoga, It’s happening? 2013-08-13T08:56:00-06:00 David Matthew Brown

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I appreciate everyone following this journey, and your wonderful support. I am on day 17th of 30 straight days of hot yoga at Moksha Yoga Los Angeles and if you are just joining me, welcome.  Today on my way to the studio, and when I laid down on the mat, I contemplated the intention for today, but all that came up, was “now”. So rather than fight, or figure out the meaning of this, a question followed, “It’s happening?” wait for it, “Now”.  Everything is happening now, and so I chose to embrace now as the poses came up.  This may seem like a big “Duh!” for those practicing for many years, or maybe even some starting, but I feel in my practice, that everyday is meeting now as it is.  Everyday practicing yoga is a beginner day.  Because I find that if it isn’t then I have closed off to the opportunity to grow, learn, and that would stink, because it would mean I am closed off to the opportunities off the mat.

Today our teacher Carolina set intention for the class with releasing control, and it is funny in each pose how I try and control it, squeezing the toes, holding the jaw, in fact I found in my life that when I am holding on to something, I squeeze my toes and crunch them up.  So today was a wonderful opportunity to embrace the ways in which I control a pose. As we explored the poses today, I found places where my body wanted to express in the upper back, and my mind was like, “Um no you can’t”, so I would breath, and let the breath expand me up through it and you know what? I did it.  I recognized that on a deeper level, everything is happening now, the mind is either rushing backwards, or forward to play ignorant to what is happening now. But if I can allow everything to rest here, the gains are incredible, the pose becomes its own expression, and I can feel freedom from the past and future, and the consistent negating of who I am or looking out and comparing outside to me.

As I have been practicing Moksha Yoga I have noticed the freedom in the breath, and the importance of embracing the pose as it is.  It sounds simple, every teaching sounds simple in the intellect, till you walk it, breath it, and live it. It is easy to be right, who cares, we are here to discover happiness within and without.  Inspiration is the in breath giving life, giving to itself, giving to the beloved inside, and giving the gift to express something new.  I am realizing the rational mind can not comprehend the inspiration, so I am learning that the inspiration is real, and the chatter box is just chattering.  On to day 18…love you Moksha…thank you for teaching me about who I am…

   David Matthew Brown- Learner of Life

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Day 16: Moksha Yoga, "I Can"

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