Not That It Would Have Changed a Thing

Last updated on: March 2, 2011 at 10:39 am by Lisa

Not That It Would Have Changed a Thing 2011-03-02T10:39:22+00:00 Lisa

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Ok. I’m calling in the big guns.

I just read this thing, “25 Things I wish I knew before having kids” from another mom on babycenter. And none of it looks terribly crazy. It all looks/sounds eerily familiar.

And it’s freaking me out.

According to this list, beginning in late April, I’m not going to sleep at least three years. Actually, scratch that. If I’m anything like my own mom, I’m not going to sleep for 18 years. And if my kids are anything like me, during years 13-16, I’ll sleep less than I do during their first months of life. You know, when they don’t sleep through the night, so neither do I?

My marriage is being turned on its head. My husband, whom I love and cherish and treasure more than anyone else in this universe, and I are going to have to re-learn how to be married, this time with kids. Forget about baby proofing. That’s easy. What about intimacy? What about date nights? What about sitting up til all hours and just laughing? Will I ever be not-tired enough to enjoy any of that again? How am I going to continue being a wife when I become a mother?

I am about to completely lose my former self (if I haven’t lost her already) and become someone new. Namely, a mother. Everything about me is going to shift. It’s gonna have to shift, lest I raise a son who a) hates me, and b) will desperately need years and years of expensive therapy. This is difficult for me, because I’m selfish. And I like it.

Career? What career? I’m not good at multi-tasking, and having-a-baby seems, from everything I can tell thus far, like a pretty time-consuming affair. I don’t have the first clue what to do or think about that.

According to the list, shower time will be my favorite 5 minutes of the day. Because those minutes are all mine.

According to the list, I won’t have a clean house for a year…and I shouldn’t mind. Clearly, these people don’t know me at all, or anything about my obsessive compulsion for things to be presentably clean for company. Which leads me to the next realization…

We will not have company over for years. Because I, apparently, will not be cleaning for that long.

And we chose to cloth diaper. I am tempted to reconsider the dollars we’re saving, the landfills we’re saving, and all that other nonsense, and trade all those savings in for one other salvation of utmost importance: My sanity.

Maybe, with just eight more weeks to go, I should ask for a few more weeks of bed rest?

Baby E w/ 8 Weeks Left to Bake

Previous Post

January 19, 2011

Endings and Beginnings, Interruptions and Delays

Next Post

May 26, 2011 Life and Death in 24 Hours: The Labor & Delivery Story

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Activate activism Adoption africa America Baby Black Lives Matter Capitalism Culture DIY Economy Faith and Faith Life Family Feminism free stuff God Gun Violence Home Life Homemade Humanitarianism Hysterectomy Ink Justice LGBTQIA Life Love Marriage Me Too Media & Art Missions Music new songs Poetry Politics Racism Random resistance Running Sexual Assault Tour trail running Travel ultramarathons Uncategorized Video Vote White Supremacy Womanism Women Women's Rights

Select a Month April 2020 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 September 2017 June 2016 May 2016 March 2016 December 2015 October 2015 June 2015 May 2015 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 July 2014 March 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 September 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 January 2013 December 2012 October 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 November 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 March 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 July 2010 April 2010 October 2009 June 2009 January 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz