Why Am I Not Fully Content?

Last updated on: June 20, 2016 at 4:32 pm by Ambaa Choate

Why Am I Not Fully Content? 2016-06-20T16:32:03-04:00 Ambaa Choate

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Not to brag, but my life is perfect. I have the sweetest husband, a beautiful child, a home. I’m blessed to be able to stay home to raise my son. Sometimes I look around my living room at my husband, my son, my dog and my cat and I feel so incredibly lucky. In my twenties I never thought I would have these simple things that I wanted so badly. And now here I am, living my dream.

Yet in the back of my mind something constantly niggles at me.

After thinking about it, I believe there are two things that stand in the way of my full contentment…

1) Money issues. I’ve told you before about the difficult relationship I have with money. I am good at living pretty cheaply and frugality brings me comfort, but I still always feel like there isn’t enough. I feel a lot of guilt that I never found a career or even a job I could stand. I’m sad that living on Brad’s income as a teacher means denying him a lot of pleasures. We can’t eat out as much as he would like. We have to plan very carefully for any vacations. Stuff like that.

But now that we have a child I definitely can’t get a job outside the house. I don’t have the qualifications or experience to get any job that could cover the cost of day care for the little one! Rather than that knowledge taking the pressure off, it makes me regret my choices of many years ago that led to me not having the qualifications for a well paying job.

In part my job is to worry about money and stress about how to get everything paid so that Brad doesn’t have to. I have always wanted to be a stay at home wife and mom. Now I just wish I could get that without the guilt!

2) The need to feel productive leads to a lot of dissatisfaction. I’ve always been afraid to waste life in any way. I stress about whether I’m fulfilling every potential of every second. Because of that I can’t relax and enjoy our frequent evenings spent with the whole family on the sofa watching TV for hours. Though I think if I felt more productive during the day then I could be not antsy through TV watching. I’m not sure, though, because although I love TV and the stories, it feels wasteful to indulge in it.

So we’ll see, but I think if I can make peace with these two things I’ll be fully content. It’s nice to be old enough to be able to see fairly clearly where my issues are and what I need to work on to move towards bliss and enlightenment.

Inside the Life

adjusting to life with newborn

Previous Post

June 6, 2016

Is There Value in Pain?

Next Post

June 23, 2016 Should We Judge a Religion on the Actions of Its Followers?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Club Hindu Holiday How Am I Being a Hindu This Week? Inside the Life Meet a God Meet a Guru Movie Club Philosophy Corner Resources Scripture Uncategorized Wild Card

Select a Month February 2020 September 2019 May 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What nation captured Jerusalem and took Daniel captive?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Egypt Persia Assyria Babylonia