Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The White Hindu

Home
Hindu
I’m Not A “Gori Wife”

I’m Not A “Gori Wife”

Last updated on: March 13, 2015 at 10:34 pm by Ambaa Choate

I’m Not A “Gori Wife” 2015-03-13T22:34:37-04:00 Ambaa Choate

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

There is an entire genre of blogs that are often known as the “Gori Wife Blogs.” Gori is a Hindi word for white person and it can be derogative. Some people decided to sort-of “take back” the term and apply it proudly to themselves. Others would fit into the category but don’t like to use the word “Gori.” However, the word itself isn’t my point today.

The “Gori Wife” blogs are written by non-Indian women who marry Indian men (Not all are Hindu. Some are Muslim or Sikh).

There are lots of them. There are many who don’t keep blogs and aren’t on the Internet at all. There are many, many non-Indian women marrying into Indian families. All the ones I know work hard to be respectful of their husband’s culture. They take on aspects of that culture and the family’s religion to varying degrees, often taking cues from the family as to how much to get involved.

It seems as though many of the mother-in-laws are delighted and relieved by their American daughter-in-laws learning their culture and taking on Indian behavior, values, dress, etc.

Some women happily immerse themselves in the family’s culture, not feeling any particular connection to any other culture and others fight to maintain their sense of selves and the traditions they grew up with in America.

They are very interesting blogs to read and I enjoy the “gori wife” perspectives on some of the same issues I’m dealing with.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if I am the only one in my situation. I feel a little lonely because in the end, I’m not one of them. I don’t have a mother-in-law guiding me towards a particular tradition. I don’t have the “excuse” of an Indian husband for my interest in Indian culture (and I don’t believe I need an Indian husband to justify my Hindu-ness).

Though there are non-Indian Hindus who are introduced to Hinduism through a spouse but then find that it was the right path for them all along, where are the others like me who knew Hinduism was who they were without anyone introducing them to it? Perhaps some of these women were already Hindus and married an Indian Hindu man because they were Hindu?

Now that I wear a mangala sutra and sindoor, Indian ladies that I encounter in day to day life assume that I’m married to an Indian man. But no. I’m not. I’m the Hindu one.

People really don’t know what to do with that. When they think I’ve married into Indian traditions, they are delighted that I am “agreeing to” Indian marriage traditions. When they find out that I’m the Hindu one, there is usually awkward confusion.

In a lot of ways I grew up Hindu. I didn’t call it that, but it was Hindu philosophy and belief that was instilled in me from birth. Sometimes I feel like I have the most in common with American-born Desis. My Hinduism is colored by my American-ness. I have a lot of knowledge but then some big gaps. I was okay with an interfaith marriage because I knew that nothing could take my Hindu-ness from me.

This often seems like a female issue. I’ve never seen a blog of a man exploring Indian culture and traditions because he married an Indian woman (if you know of any, please do share!). I do know non-Indian Hindu men who discovered Hinduism on their own, not through a wife. Why is it that the majority of stories are either: woman marries Indian man and becomes interested in Hinduism (or whatever his family’s religion is) OR man does spiritual exploration and discovers Hinduism is the right path for him?

I know I’m not the only non-Indian Hindu woman who wasn’t introduced to Hinduism by a man. Where are the others? Speak up and let me know!

interfaith relationship

non indian hindu

white hindu

Previous Post

December 11, 2013

This 3 Second Trick Will Bring You More Peace Instantly

Next Post

December 13, 2013 White Hindu Conversations: Part Two

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Club Hindu Holiday How Am I Being a Hindu This Week? Inside the Life Meet a God Meet a Guru Movie Club Philosophy Corner Resources Scripture Uncategorized Wild Card

Select a Month February 2020 September 2019 May 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Where was Jesus born?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jerusalem Nazareth Bethlehem Capernaum