Defensiveness

Last updated on: March 13, 2015 at 10:38 pm by Ambaa Choate

Defensiveness 2015-03-13T22:38:17-04:00 Ambaa Choate

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I am so proud to be a Hindu that it can sometimes feel frustrating that no one would ever guess that I am one!

When you aren’t the default religion of those who look like you, it’s an interesting experience. Not that people are often thinking and wondering what religion I am, but mostly because it doesn’t occur to them that I wouldn’t be Christian of one type or another. So then if I want people to know that I’m Hindu, I have to tell them. Which sometimes comes up naturally in conversation, but usually does not! I end up feeling pushy or obnoxious for bringing it up. On the other hand, as I said, I’m proud to be a Hindu and proud to represent it.

I’ve realized over the last few years of identifying as Hindu that my defensiveness has to go and it has lessened a lot. I have been practicing remembering that it does not matter whether I have the approval of others when I know I am on the right path. So sometimes I need to just relax and not jump in with this unsolicited information about my religious status. Still working on that!

For a long time I felt frustrated that I wasn’t taken seriously as a Hindu and even wearing the bindi full time, I often felt like people saw me as delusional, foolish, or obnoxious. Now I’ve reached a place where I take me seriously as a Hindu and that is enough. (Most of the time!)

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How did I do on my goal this week? Total fail! I did not try out new meditations. So I am going to set this goal again for the next week and try again to make the time to try out two new meditation styles.

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