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Do You Think Chinese Girls are Pretty?

Do You Think Chinese Girls are Pretty?

Last updated on: February 9, 2012 at 10:44 am by Kathy Tuan-Maclean

Do You Think Chinese Girls are Pretty? 2012-02-09T10:44:10-05:00 Kathy Tuan-Maclean

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Last week I joined the challenge to talk about race by wondering Why Aren’t People Talking to Me? This week I write about seeing (and hearing).

Long ago in college, I talked about ethnicity with Duncan, a tall skinny White guy with a large Adam’s apple and black rimmed glasses, and George, a tall skinny Chinese guy with a large Adam’s apple and silver rimmed glasses. Duncan said he considered me to be Chinese-American, and George to be Chinese.

Since George and I were both American citizens, I didn’t understand why Duncan wanted to make the distinction until he said that because I was outspoken, gregarious, and majoring in counseling psychology, I was “Americanized.” Because George was quiet, shy, introverted and majoring in engineering, he was authentically Chinese.

“I think that’s a racist point of view.” I told Duncan, immediately confirming his judgment about my outspokenness.

He protested, “I’m not racist—really I’m not!”

“Look, I lived in China for a year,” I said, “And there were people who act like me as well as people who act like George. Just because I don’t fit the stereotype doesn’t mean I’m any less Chinese than George.”

George was silent. Trying to rectify the rudeness of talking about him in front of his face, I asked, “Why do you think you’re stereotypically Chinese? Do you think it’s who you are or because of other influences?”

“Oh culture, for sure,” George said. He told us about being chased home almost every day from school by White bullies, how his house was egged and toilet papered repeatedly. Disappearing into the stereotype was how he survived his toxic middle class suburb.

That led to me relaying how I felt invisible at fraternity parties—I perceived I wasn’t looked at and rejected, but never seen at all. Duncan cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, “Can I ask you an embarrassing question?”