Wedding Rehearsal Revisited

Last updated on: May 17, 2013 at 8:13 am by Margaret Blair Young

Wedding Rehearsal Revisited 2013-05-17T08:13:32-07:00 Margaret Blair Young

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My husband and I celebrate twenty-eight years of marriage today, May 17th. Bruce, as most of my friends know, was my professor before he was my husband. I got free tuition when I married him. He was thirty-four and insecure. I was twenty-nine and damaged. On one of our early dates, we went to the temple. I quietly prayed that we would be able to do sealings after the endowment session–a rather odd request, I know, but it seemed terribly romantic.

So there we were in the Celestial Room. A worker entered and announced, “We need couples to do sealings. Can anyone here help?” I congratulated God on his quick work, and told Bruce we ought to accept the invitation. He looked slightly panic-stricken. But he said yes. Then, on the way to the sealing room, he nervously told the sealer that we weren’t married. “Oh,” the sealer said, “that doesn’t matter. Aren’t you going to get married?”

“That’s not decided,” said Bruce.

“You look like you should be married,” said the sealer.

Soon, there we were, at our wedding rehearsal in the temple.

Bruce was so frightened of marriage that I believe he had to actually picture himself as a groom, and had to put a real face on his bride. As it happened, my face wasn’t what he had long imagined. He had wanted an olive-skinned, dark-haired beauty, not a pale redhead with barely visible eyebrows. I suspect I met only a few of the qualities he had on his checklist (he’s never told me). Nonetheless, there I was, and we were rehearsing.

We now meet for lunch every Saturday at the temple, during my break in my temple service. Bruce is a bishop, and I am still a redhead. I think if he made out a new checklist, it would be completely based on me. That’s because I’d write it. Marriage works that way–a few little compromises, and sometimes the complete surrender of your own agenda or the way you had always imagined things would be.

We continue to weather surprises. Our oldest son no longer considers himself LDS. The little girl I once held and cuddled in her infancy sometimes needs me to hold her again for hours as she suffers from a panic attack. I attend LDS Addiction Recover services with another of my children, who is determined to become clean and sober. The disappointments downed me for a time, and I found I couldn’t say much without crying. So I went on anti-depressants, and exchanged much of my energy for the ability to sing hymns without weeping.

Was I rehearsing for the hours I would hold my grown daughter when I held her in her infancy? I would not have imagined it. Was I rehearsing for my son’s addiction when I lost him in London’s largest toy store and frantically looked for him until I found him on the stairs? He leapt into my arms, saying, “Why did you leave me?” Was that rehearsal a reminder that later in life, when he was lost in other ways, I must not leave him?

I see brides at the temple most Saturdays and love the joy and hope in their faces. Yet I know that they can’t imagine what kind of stretching their married life will demand. Nor do I know what awaits me. I do know that my favorite moment of the day is when I get into bed with my husband, put my arm around his stomach, and lay my head on his chest. We are together, growing in love which finds new dimensions continually.

Rehearsals are good things. I consider that I’m rehearsing for death as I stand at the veil–but a death that has no fear or pain attached, only faith and hope and eternal promise. I am rehearsing for glorious roles beyond this life as I put on my ritual clothing. Of course, the rehearsal is nothing like the real thing. Just as “playing house” only hints at what family-making really involves (“Let’s make this really interesting and pretend that the baby has an eating disorder!”), so our other rehearsals perhaps accomplish only one truly important thing: they allow us to imagine ourselves in a place or a relationship that is otherwise beyond our comprehension, perhaps even beyond our will.

Previous Post

May 10, 2013

I Think I'm In The Wrong Room

Next Post

June 27, 2013 Imagination and Faith

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Ancestors family conflict in the scriptures race and religion Uncategorized

Select a Month August 2026 March 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 July 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 May 2024 April 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 June 2023 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 January 2022 December 2021 October 2021 September 2021 July 2021 June 2021 October 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 March 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 June 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 September 2018 August 2018 May 2018 March 2018 January 2018 November 2017 October 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 March 2017 February 2017 November 2016 October 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 November 2015 August 2015 July 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How did God protect Daniel in the lion’s den?

Select your answer to see how you score.

He made Daniel invisible He sent an angel to shut the lions’ mouths He made the lions fall asleep He blinded the guards