Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
New Visions
Are You Playing a “Role” or Living Your Best Life?

Are You Playing a “Role” or Living Your Best Life?

Last updated on: July 16, 2019 at 7:59 pm by Tom Rapsas

Are You Playing a “Role” or Living Your Best Life? 2019-07-16T19:59:51-06:00 Tom Rapsas

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Andre Furtado via Unsplash

Have you ever heard of the impostor syndrome, also known as the fraud syndrome? I hadn’t until it was brought to my attention by the blogger and cartoonist Carl Richards. For starters, here’s a description from Wikipedia:

Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which a person doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved.

People with “impostorism” attribute their success to sheer luck, or as a result of tricking others into thinking they’re more intelligent than they really are. Like an actor playing a role on stage or screen. While the syndrome is prevalent among high-achieving women, research shows that it affects men almost equally.

Richards points out the curious thing about impostor syndrome—it really doesn’t hit you until you’ve achieved a level of success. In his words:

It doesn’t just show up in beginners. High achievement doesn’t solve the problem — it can actually make it worse! And the reason is that as you get further and further off the ground, achievement often acts as air beneath you. You may be more skilled, and more confident. But at the same time, you’ve got further to fall.

This may explain why Jodie Foster “thought it was a fluke,” when she won an Oscar. In Foster’s words, “I thought everybody would find out, and they’d take it back. They’d come to my house, knocking on the door, ‘Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.’”

It may also be why Maya Angelou once said, “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'”

If it can happen to Jodie Foster and Maya Angelou, it can happen to you.

While Richards doesn’t offer precise advice on beating the syndrome, he references the expression “fake it until you make it.” In other words, the feelings of inadequacy you’re feeling, aren’t apparent to everyone else. They’re just thoughts inside your head that don’t represent the real you and may require a reset on how you view the world around you.

There are others who see themselves as acting their way through life.

In his recent book The Second Mountain, David Brooks describes a different group of individuals who believe they’re in a role that they weren’t meant to play. They might be best described as the discontented. If you’re part of this group, you believe the life you’re living doesn’t represent who you really are or who you were meant to be.

Brooks references the writer Ada Calhoun who tells us that many people in their 30s and 40s feel adrift, like they’re misleading their lives. One woman, 44, told Ada that while she sometimes has moments of contentment, she often hears a voice deep inside her head that shouts “What are you doing? This is pointless and boring! Why aren’t you out there doing something you love!”

The author also quotes the writer Veronica Rae Saron, who spins a similar tale: “Those among us with flashy Instagram accounts, perfectly manicured LinkedIn profiles, and confident exteriors are probably those who are feeling the most confused when it comes to the future. The stuck-ness sensation is everywhere, and there’s a correlation between those who feel it and those who put off a vibe of feeling extremely secure.”

So how do you relieve the feeling of stuck-ness, the feeling you’re attached to a life that’s not really your own? You need to take action. Thomas Moore, the soul expert, spells out what your primary goal should be in this edited passage from his book A Life at Work, Discovering What You Were Born to Do:

You want your life to match your sense of self—your values, your hope, your style, and your deep needs.

He points out that matching your life with your true self is not an easy path, it is the road less travelled. To navigate this path, you must frequently consult your inner compass to determine if you are headed in the right direction. Moore goes on to caution us that:

You might go through more phases than people think are standard. Many men and women wake up one morning in their married life to discover that they have changed in some way. Suddenly they crave more meaningful work and activities. They now have to adjust to a different status, and their partner also has to deal with change.

David Brooks also talks about the importance of living an authentic life, one that is guided by the still voice within. Again, the key is taking action, moving your life forward each day. In his words:

As you make your own personal journey, you learn to better express your own unique self. You learn to get in touch with yourself, find yourself, and live in a way that is authentic to who you really are. The ultimate source of authority is found inside, by listening to the authentic voice within.

We all strive to live authentic lives, so ask yourself: What do I believe in? Where do I belong? What changes do I need to make to live the best possible life, the one I was truly meant to live?

Previous Post

July 9, 2019

The Spiritual Workout: Mastering the 3 M’s

Next Post

July 23, 2019 Have You Made the Big 4 Commitments of Life?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 50+ Spirituality 60 Second Inspiration Activism Adversity Afterlife agape aging Aliens Angels Angels and aliens anger animism Astrology Atheists Attention Attitude Authenticity Awareness Awe Ayahuasca Balance Beginnings Being Present Belief Bhagavad Gita Bible birth of Jesus Blessings Bliss Bono Breathing Buddha Buddhism Calling cats Centered Centering Prayer Chakras Change Character Character and Aging Christ consciousness Christianity Christmas Church Civility commencement speeches commitments compassion Connecting with God Consciousness Contemplation Contemplative Prayer Contentment Conversations with God Coping Coping mechanisms Corinthians Coronavirus Covid creativity Daily practice Dalai Lama David Brooks David Frenette Death Deathbed visions Decisions determinism Discernment disconnecting Donald Shimoda Dreaming of the Dead dreams Drinking Easter Eastern religion Eckhart Tolle ego Elders Emerson Engagement Enlightenment everyday magic Evil Spirits Expectations experience Faith fate Fatima Fear Feel Finding God Fitness Fulfillment Gandhi Gary Zukav Generosity Giving Gnostic gospels Gnostics God God's will Golden Rule Good & Evil Gospel of Thomas Gospels Grace Gratitude Grief Growing Older Guardian Angels gumption Gurus Halloween Happiness health health and happiness Heaven Helping others High Strangeness Hinduism Holiday Season honesty Honor Hope Humility impostor syndrome inner music Inner Work Insights insomnia Inspiration Inspirational intuition Investing Jeff Bridges Jesus Jesus Christ John Templeton joy joy of life Justin Bieber Kaballah Kabbalah Karma Kindness koans Law of Attraction Life Life after Death Life and death Life Balance Life Hacks Life Lessons Life Path Life Philosophy Life Plan life purpose Life Rules Life Tips Life's Big Questions Lindsay Lohan Listening Living Intentionally Loneliness Love Magic Mark Twain Marriage Meaning of Life Meditation mentor Mentors Mid-Life Crisis Mindful Mindfulness Money Monks Multiverse Mysterious World mystical experience Mysticism Mystics Mythology Napoleon Hill Near Death Experience (NDE) New Thought New Year New Year's resolutions Noise Oprah out-of-body experience Parables Peace of mind philosophy Plant Intelligence Pope Francis Positive Thinking Prayer prayers for the spiritual Preachers Premonitions presence Prophecies Prophecy Prophets Psalms Purpose Purpose of Life quietude Quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson Ralph Waldo Trine Reconnect Recovery reincarnation Relaxation Religion resolutions Resurrection Ritual Rituals Rules to Live By sadness Sam Harris Sandy Second Act Seeking self Self Mastery self-help self-improvement Seneca sermon sex shamans Sickness Silence Silence of God sleep small voice Smiling Social Activism solitude Soul Soul and Spirit Soul Awakening Spiritual Awakening spiritual beliefs spiritual guidance spiritual journey spiritual living spiritual path Spiritual philosophy Spiritual Practice Spirituality Spirituality and work Spooky Spirituality Stillness stoicism stoics Storytelling Stress Relief Success Suffering Suicide Surrender tao Thanks Thanksgiving the afterlife the bardo the Bible the Blues The Election the Kingdom the secret the self The Soul Thomas Keating Thomas Merton Thomas Moore Time Tony Robbins tradition UFOs Uncategorized Universe Values visualization Voice of God Wake Up Call Wake Up Call book Walls Walt Whitman Well-being Winter Blues Wisdom words to live by Work work/life balance worry Yogananda Zen

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 July 2012 April 2012 March 2012 January 2012 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 December 2009 November 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to Romans, what is the gift of God?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Salvation Grace The Holy Spirit Eternal life in Christ Jesus

Books by This Author Books by Wake Up Call

See All Titles »