Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Discipline and Violence: another perspective

Discipline and Violence: another perspective

Last updated on: July 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm by voxnovablog

Discipline and Violence: another perspective 2011-07-22T13:49:36-05:00 voxnovablog

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A Guest Post by Josh Brumfield

As a father of a 2 and half year old boy and a newborn baby girl, the recent posts on the disciplining of children caught my eye. Nathan attempted to show that spanking done “properly” need not be violent but can be a useful tool for disciplining young children. At least one person (Sofia Loves Wisdom) felt that adults only employ such methods of discipline against children because children are smaller and can’t defend themselves. They’d never attempt to discipline an adult child in the same manner. Sam was interested in emphasizing the need for caution in making certain kinds of claims and generalities.

However, I wonder if Sofia’s critiques might be able to transcend her personal experiences. Might there be some parenting transcendentals to guide us in this discussion? Certainly we could draw brackets around the obvious abusive situations, but it may be helpful to attempt an approach that recognizes the truth about children and the truth about discipline, admittedly in general and abstract terms, so that we can think about discipline, spanking, and violence within a proper (“Catholic”?) framework.

In my mind, the Church has “canonized” (at least) two approaches to the disciplining and education of children in the last two centuries. In canonizing St. John Bosco and approving his Salesian order, the Church has essentially put her stamp of approval on Don Bosco’s approach, which he called the Preventive System, which he distinguished from the repressive system of education which prevailed at the time (and probably still prevails). He summed up the basic attitude of Salesian educators toward children with the motto “reason, religion, and loving-kindness.” (Don Bosco primarily ministered to boys older than those focused on in the aforementioned posts, so I will not go into further detail on the Preventive System here).

A second “method” which the recent popes have commended is commonly known as the Montessori Method. Dr. Maria Montessori was a Catholic scientist who based her approach to education and discipline on the scientific observations of children and on her knowledge of St. Thomas. She and her work have been recognized, authorized, and/or commended by all the recent popes going back to Benedict XV.

[Note: “Church commendation” is not nearly as important as whether Don Bosco’s and Montessori’s claims about children are true. We’ll have to return to that later.]

Montessori also characterized the common methods of discipline and education as repressive and believed that children should never be treated with “violence.” Why?

In society at large society she saw the great external victories of men over nature in the industrial and technological revolutions, but she also observed a whole world of people who had been repressed from developing as they were created to do so. Of course as adherents to the doctrine of Original Sin we know that we are all broken, but she felt that many of us suffer from more or less subtle forms of various psychological illnesses because of the way in which we were disciplined and educated. Adults, generally well-intentioned, have repressed the natural impulses of children by demanding obedience to certain standards of “adult” society, but children aren’t adults. They function at very high human levels, but they function quite differently and are unable to exhibit consistent obedience until they reach the age of reason.

In observing children, Montessori identified a divinely instituted inner dynamism by which the child aims to develop her “personality”. The child possesses marvelous directives that come from within which urge her to work with great concentration and for long periods at certain types of tasks (which vary by age). Through these intense periods of working, the child, in a certain sense, directs her own formation and advances through her developmental stages, many of which are psychological or spiritual at root. Unfortunately, adults all too often are ignorant of what the child is trying to accomplish by repeatedly flipping the light switch (or something of the sort), of the importance such activities have for the development of the brain and the will, and of the damage done do the child when they impatiently reprimand the child for such innocent behavior. When this happens the child fails to develop “normally,” and learns to doubt her natural desires, her will, which traditionally speaking is one of the avenues through which God attempts to speak to us on a personal level. Thus, many of us grow up simply not knowing or trusting what we really like, what we really want to do with ourselves. We don’t believe that we can be happy with our work. Montessori and Montessori children know otherwise. Therefore, based on her scientific observations, Montessori insisted on respect for the child, whose freedom should be respected as much as an adult’s and whom she saw as a powerful being capable of bringing into existence a “normal” adult, if only the child is provided the right environment and the freedom to work as she wills in that environment.

According to her observations, children exhibit order and discipline on their own when are placed in environments which enable them to work with “reality” in their own way and at their own (often repetitive) pace. More importantly, they exhibit love and cooperation with other children rather than jealousy, competition, and tantrums.

Montessori describes a beneficial approach to a child in a state of chaos as follows:

Let us consider the three- or four-year-old child, as yet unaffected by the factors which will create in him internal discipline. [i.e. her “method”] …

(1) The voluntary movements are disordered. I do not mean the intention of the movements, but the movements themselves: fundamental co-ordination is lacking. …The small child who is clumsy in his movements will show many other obvious characteristics, such as disorderly actions, uncontrolled behaviour, screaming and contortions, but all these are of minor significance. An education which delicately co-ordinates the finer movements will by itself obliterate all the disorder of the voluntary movements. Rather than try to correct the thousand external manifestations of one deviation from the right path, it will be enough for the teacher to offer an interesting means of developing skill in the finer movements: placing a small light cube in the centre of a square, and so on.

Thus her approach relies on observation, that is humbling oneself and noticing what the child is doing or trying to do; showing the child how to do it, and allowing the child to perfect that skill on her own. When children are given an environment which enables them to interact with reality freely, they exhibit an intrinsic motivation to work on their development, including their discipline.

Children have, especially in the first years of life, an internal sensibility as to their spiritual needs, which repression and wrong education can cause to vanish, to be replaced by a kind of slavery of the external senses to every surrounding object. … It reveals itself in that delicate act of free choice, which a teacher untrained in observation would trample under foot before she had noticed it… The child who has fixed his attention on a chosen object, and is concentrating

his being upon the repetition of an exercise, is a saved soul, in the sense of spiritual health of which we are speaking. There is no need henceforth to occupy ourselves with him, otherwise than by preparing his environment so that it will supply his needs, and by removing obstacles which might obstruct for him the way of perfection. … The child who concentrates is happy within himself, unconscious of his neighbours and of his surroundings… When the concentration passes, he seems to become aware, as if for the first time, of the world which surrounds him, with unlimited scope for further discoveries; aware also of his companions in whom he shows a loving interest.

He awakens to a love of persons and of things – gentle and affectionate towards all, and ready to admire everything that is beautiful. The spiritual process is evident; he has to detach himself from his world in order to acquire the power of uniting himself to it.

Thus for Montessori the job of the teacher and parent is not to demand obedience by instilling fearful respect in any of a variety of ways but to allow the child the freedom interact with reality in a safe and appropriate environment . Any form of “violence” fails to respect the child’s freedom. The parent should allow the child maximum freedom within set limits, which are discerned by the parent with prudence, safety, and the child’s developmental needs in mind. Giving the child choices — this or that pair of pants, walk or in the stroller, etc.– can help her to form her will and to develop her unique personality. It will help her to grow up knowing who she is and what she wants, teaching her to trust her desires through which God can lead her to the vocation for which she was created and through which she will find joy and peace.

Of course, there will be the occasional (or in some cases quite frequent) tantrum or testing of the boundaries. In these situations the parent must remain emotionally uninvolved, attempting to understand the child’s frustration and to explain to her why she can’t do this or that. Any discipline that is necessary should be consequential, which means punishments should be something that follow naturally from the offense so that the child learns that her choices have consequences.

In short, a Montessori approach begins with a humble disposition of learning to understand the child’s developmental needs and her attempts to fulfill those needs. It demands respect for the child’s freedom to develop within set limits and respects the absorbent mind of the sensitive learning periods of the child by allowing the child to explore and work with her environment. Finally the Montessori approach does not allow for the repression of the child, via certain forms “violent (physically or verbally) discipline, or the manipulation of the child by showering excessing praise for mundane tasks. (Good job! You went down the slide.)

Montessori would say that spanking and other apparently effective forms of punishing or lesson-teaching, might change the child’s external behavior, but these approaches fail to help the child develop, to change the mind or form the will. She’d say they may obey, but they will likely not internalize the correct behavior for themselves.

I am not here generalizing my own experiences as a parent or a child. As a child I was spanked sparingly. As a parent I have not spanked and hope not to do so, but at present my home is far from a Montessori home; I am guilty of repressing my son without resorting to spanking. However, Montessori’s observations seem to accord with an authentic Catholic anthropology and reflect an integrally Catholic view of the world, which is more than can be said of Dewey or any number of other so-called education and/or discipline experts. I pray for the humility and grace to better observe my son’s actions and his needs and to aid his attempts at forming himself, while prudently, firmly, and lovingly redirecting him whenever he crosses the line.

Sam is right. Being a parent is risky and dangerous. I do not here wish to pass any form of objective judgment on any disciplinary action a parent might take in a given situation. I certainly claim no ability to judge concrete events by some generic code.

However, if Montessori is right about the development of children (and recent scientific studies of child brain development and child psychology have affirmed many of her observations), then we, as parents or teachers, may individually need to reassess our presumptions about our children and how we hope to aid their development into the disciples God intends them to become. I may need to learn to be more willing to observe my children humbly and not to impute rational disobedience or ill-intention to persons who do not yet have a fully-formed will or intellect and who often act out impulsively, simply forgetting “rules” which I think have been made quite clear. But, then again, how often do I, a “matured“ and “developed” adult, need reminders of God’s will and ultimately require recourse to reconciliation? As a parent, by the grace of God go I.

[Disclaimer: I am only recently becoming familiar with Montessori’s thought and am no expert on it in theory or practice, but I do feel her thought can make an important contribution to what has been discussed here recently. Hopefully a contributor or commenter here will be more well-informed and practiced than I.]

Children

Guest Posts

Violence

Previous Post

July 21, 2011

Brant Pitre, Benedict XVI, And Why The Pope Has It Right

Next Post

July 24, 2011 Nova's Ordo: A Scriptural Reflection for the 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 2019 A Consistent Ethic of Life Aaron Weldon Abortion absurdity Abuse Scandal Academics Adoption Advent Africa agreement/disagreement with Church teaching Alexander Schmemann Alexham Alterity America Amnesty International Anarchism angels Anglicanism Animals Annual Statistics Anthony Anxietas Apocalyptic Apophatic Appalachia Aquinas Art Atheism Atonement Augustine Authority Baptism Beauty Bible biblical criticism biblical scholarship Bioethics Bishops Black Catholics Black Theology Blackadder Blogs Books Breastfeeding Brett Salkeld Buddhism Bush administration Byzantine Catholic Calvinism Canada Canon Law Capital Punishment Capitalism Caryll Houselander Catholic Blog Awards Catholic Blogging Catholic League Catholic Social Teaching Catholic Worker Movement Catholicity CFL Charity Children Chris West Christ and Culture Christian Democracy Christian Unity Christmas Christology Church Church Doctrine Church History Climate Change Cohabitation Colbert Collegiality Communion Communism Comparative Theology Competition Conferences conscience conscience rights Consequentialism Consistent Life Ethics Consumerism Contraception Contrition Conversion Converts Coptic COVID-19 Creation Critical Thinking Cross Cuba Culture Culture of Death Culture of Life Darfur David Cruz-Uribe David Wheeler-Reed Death Death Penalty Democracy Demons Desert Fathers Devil Dialogue dignity Disability Disarmament discernment Discipleship discrimination Dissent Distributism Division Doctrine Domestic Church Dorothy Day Double Effect Doubt Down syndrome Driving Early Church Easter Eastern Churches Ecclesiology Economics Economy Ecumenism Education El Salvador Election Election 2020 Ellul Embryonic Stem Cell Research Empire Energy Enlighenment Environmentalism Ephraim Radner Episcopal Church epistemology Equality Eschatology Ethics Eucharist Europe Euthanasia Evangelization Evil Evolution Excommunication F.X. Durrwell Facism Facts Fair Trade Faith Family Fashion Feddie Feminism Feminist theology Fertility Fetal Rights Fiction Film Finances First Things flags Folk Religion Food Foreign Affairs Forgiveness Frank Sheed Free Speech Freedom gay & lesbian persons Genocide George W. Bush George Weigel Gerald L. Campbell Girard/Mimetic Theory Global Warming Globalization Gnosticism Good Friday Grace Gratitude Greed Grey Cup 2009 Guadalupe Guest Post Guest Posts Gun Control Gustave Martelet Habitat for Humanity Hans Urs von Balthasar Harry Potter Hate Speech Health Health Care Healthcare Heather King Hebrew Bible Henri de Lubac Henry Karlson Herbert McCabe Heresy HHS Mandate Controversy History Holidays Holiness Holy Spirit Homiletics Homily Homosexuality Hope Hospitality How Far Can We Go? How Far Can We Go? Human Person Human Rights Humanae Vitae Humility Humor Hunger Hunting Identity Idolatry Ignacio Ellacuría Imagination Immigration In Memoriam Income Inequality Inculturation Indigenous People Individualism Inklings Intellect Interdependence Internet Interpretation Interviews Introduction Iraq War Islam Israel Jain James Alison James Martin Jazz Jesus Christ Jews Joe Biden Joe Hargrave Johann Baptist Metz John Allen John Henry Newman John Paul II John the Baptist John XXIII Jonathan Josef Pieper Joseph (the husband of Mary) Joseph Bernardin Joseph Ratzinger Josh Brumfield Journals Joy Judgment Just War Justice Kari Lundgren Karl Rahner Katerina Ivanovna Kenya Keynes Kingdom of God Kyle R. Cupp Labor Language Latin America Law Leanne Ogasawara Legion of Christ Leisure Lent Liberalism Liberation Theology Libertarianism Libya Lies Life life & dignity & responsibility of the human person Literature Little Way Liturgical music Liturgical Year Liturgy Living Simply Living Wage Local Church Lombard Lord of the Rings Louis Dupre Love M.Z. Magic Magisterium Mark DeFrancisis Mark Gordon Marriage Martin Luther Martin Luther King Jr. Martyrdom Marxism Mary Masculinity Matt Talbot Matthew Fish Matthew Levering McCain Media Memorial Day Mennonites Mental Illness mercy Michael Iafrate Middle East militarism Miroslav Volf Mitt Romney Modesty Moral Theology Morality Mormonism Morning's Minion Mother Teresa Music Muslims Natalie Nate Wildermuth Nationalism Native Americans Nature Nazis Neuhaus New Evangelization New York City News NFP nihilism Nonviolence Not Abortion Nova's Ordo Nuclear weapons Nuns Obama Occult Old Age Opus Dei Ordination ordination of women original sin Orthodoxy Oscar Romero Other Voices Pacifism Palestine Palin Papacy Papal Peace Messages Papal Social Encyclicals Particular Affections Partisanship Patriotism Paul Paul Ryan Paul VI Peace Pentimento persecution Personalism Phantastes Philosophy PKD Planned Parenthood Pluralism Poetry Policraticus Politcal Apathy Politics Poll Pope Benedict XVI Pope Francis Pope John Paul II Pope Leo XIV Population Postcolonialsim Poverty Power Prayer Preaching Predictions Predictions for 2012 President Barack Obama priestly formation & discernment Pro-Life Progress Prophetic Witness Proportionalism Public Diplomacy Public Policy Question Quotes Rachel Maddow Racism Radical Catholic Mom Radical Catholicism Raymund Schwager Real Catholic TV Real Presence Reconciliation Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange Religion religious freedom Responsibility Ressourcement Resurrection Rick Garnett Ridiculous Crap You Never Thought You'd See Robert Barron Roe v. Wade Roman Curia Rome Russia Sacraments Saints Salvation History Sam Harris Sam Rocha Same-sex Marriage Saskatchewan Roughriders Satire School of the Americas Science Scripture Seamless Garment Second Vatican Council Seeing Sex sexual violence Sexuality Sia Sin social justice Social Security Socialism Society of Jesus Sofia Loves Wisdom Solidarity Sophia soteriology Soutenus Spirituality Sports St. Dismas St. Joseph Stanley Hauerwas Statistics Stimulus Suffering Sunday Reflections Supernatural Supreme Court Symbolism Syria Taxing Technology Terrorism The State The Tea Party The Trump Administration Theological Anthropology Theology Theotokos Thomas Merton Throwaway Culture Tim Muldoon Tim Riley Tim Tebow Time Titian Tolkien Torture Toys Trade Traditionalism Transgender Transportation Transubstantiation Trinity Truth TV U.S. Affairs Uncategorized Unions unity among people who disagree US Catholicism USCCB Usury Utilitarianism Utopia Valentine's Day Vatican Vatican II Veterans Vicarious Suffering Video Violence Virgin Mary Vocations Voluntary Associations Voluntary Poverty Voting Vox Nova vox nova blog war War and Peace War Strategy Wealth Weirdness Welfare state Women Women Priests Work Woundedness Youth

Select a Month June 2026 May 2025 February 2025 January 2025 July 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 July 2023 March 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 November 2021 September 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the villain plotting to destroy the Jews in Esther?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Sanballat Ben-Hadad Haman Tobiah