Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Victorious Living

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
How Oliver Got His Name

How Oliver Got His Name

Last updated on: September 16, 2021 at 5:00 am by Victorious Living

How Oliver Got His Name 2021-09-09T18:48:31-04:00 Victorious Living

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

All of us are striving to be people of power. What we really want with power is the ability to influence others. To affect the world and to use who we are to serve the people around us.

Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? The problem is that influence does not often look like we want it to nor result in the way we hope. Influence is not the same as control. And that is a lesson we all grapple with on a daily basis.

The other thing that makes influencing others elusive is that it is much more subtle than we imagine. We pursue positions of authority, fame and recognition, as well as the official backing of institutions and organizations, all in an attempt to make sure our influence will hit home.

As a person who makes a living attempting to influence others, I learned two things very quickly. First, I am influenced as much as I influence. It is a two-way street. Always. Whether I give it permission or not, the things I aim to influence influence me.

The second thing I learned is that people do not always respond to the thing I am assuming they respond to. I spent a lot of time trying to preach good sermons or host good events. There are some big conversations where I feel the pressure to influence well looming. But more often than not, the things that most affect others are things I am not even aware of.

There is no better example of all of this than the story of Oliver.

Surprisingly Affected

Oliver is a great example of both of my lessons in influencing others. It is a student who influenced me and it was such a silly and subtle thing.

Our school does an event called Random Theme Debate. Two students argue about whether a hot dog is a sandwich or other such nonsense. They dress in capes and wigs. It is altogether absurd.

Kylie and I were judging Random Theme a couple years ago. One of the responsibilities of a judge is to determine which debater gets to go first. Judges come up with all kinds of ridiculous ways to decide this. As our faithful readers know, Kylie and I have been struggling to have a baby for almost five years. So, we decided, let’s ask the students what boy name we should choose for our future kid. We had a couple girl names picked out but no boy name sounded right.

Now, this being the event it was, we were expecting some bizarre and absurd answers. The first debater said, “Oliver” and Kylie and I both looked at each other with wide eyes.

Influence and Oliver

Who knows if we will ever have a boy and, if we do, if we will name him Oliver. But it is tops on our list for boy names right now! All because a college student in a cape was trying to go first in her Random Theme debate round.

It is so crazy, if you think about it. All the games we play. All the power moves we attempt. The attempts to control. The fighting for position.

In the end, people are most affected by the genuine expressions of who we are. They remember little things, sometimes things that they don’t even have words for. Aura. Disposition. Something like that.

We are all influencing others in these powerfully subtle ways. But we take it for granted. We ignore it. We aim for something “bigger”, something more sure. And as we are aiming for bigger and better, we are missing the truth of influence: that it stems from who we are. It is the right performance at the right time. It is the ineffable value of community, of two people sharing truth with one another by the way they live.

Previous Post

September 14, 2021

The Character Piece

Next Post

September 21, 2021 Choosing Your Base: How Foundation Affects Perspective, Attitude, Action

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Choices Conflict Resolution Culture Change Emotions Failure Faith Fear Freedom V Growth Healthy Communication Hope Identity Influence Leadership Learn Mistakes Mood Curve Ownership Perspective Power Relationships Self-Awareness Self-Governance Systems Thinking Three Things You Control Transformational Leadership Trust Truth Uncategorized Values Vision

Select a Month January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In the Lord's Prayer, what do Christians ask for daily?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Riches Fame Daily bread Long life

Books by This Author Books by Victorious Living

See All Titles »