Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Victorious Living

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
What To Do About Pain

What To Do About Pain

Last updated on: May 14, 2020 at 5:00 am by Victorious Living

What To Do About Pain 2020-03-04T22:36:39-05:00 Victorious Living

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Every day we feel some semblance of pain. From agony, torture and tragedy to discomfort, unfamiliarity, and annoyance, the practical reality of pain covers a wide spectrum of experiences.

It also covers a vast spectrum in terms of value. Some pain is just plain evil. It is the opposite of good, a force working to subvert us away from the best we can be. But some pain is not only tolerable but valuable for the journey we are on – paving the way for perseverance, teaching and stretching us into new perspectives, or helping us discover what matters most.

So what are we to do about pain when it covers such a vast spectrum that is, frankly, sometimes difficult to discern? How should we think about pain? What should we do when we face it?

Growing Pains and Destroying Pains

Generally speaking, there are two kinds of pain – two categories. This is not an exhaustive analysis of suffering, but one of many potential distinctions. We think it is an important one because it helps us to discern our pain and respond accordingly.

The two types of pain are the kind that actively spur you toward your vision and the kind that actively work to drive you away.

For example, annoyances are generally something that help move us toward our vision. They stretch us and make us ask questions without really putting us in much danger, which invites us to be more self-aware. When we say pain helps toward your vision, we do not mean you are going to like it. It still hurts. But it is actively inviting you to persevere and/or to change the way you perceive/accept reality for what it is worth.

On the other hand, there are things like oppression and violence that are offering a kind of pain that separates us from our vision. This is the kind of thing that needs to be dispelled, cast off, and condemned. We are afraid of pain for a good reason – safety and security are necessary to establish a foundation on which we can chase our vision.

Discerning The Difference

The challenge for us is to determine exactly which of these kinds of pain we are facing. The difficulty is they often feel the same; there is very little discernible difference in how our emotions react to either. And to make matters even more challenging, there is the fact that our active pain can be used (by us/our choices) negatively and our evil pains can be redeemed (by our responses/our choices) toward the exact good they intended to harm. And so, it is increasingly difficult to tell if the pain itself is destructive or if our response to the initial pain is leading to destruction (and vice versa).

We live in a world that teaches that all pain is evil. We are increasingly partisan, isolated, and vengeful because we assume the posture that every instance of pain is the same and needs to be dealt with in the same manner.

The reason discerning which kind of pain we are facing is important is because it sets us up to better decide what to do next. The fundamental question in circumstances of pain (across the spectrum) is: should I quit or should I persevere? You should quit an abusive relationship, for example. But you should persevere if your coworkers are in conflict because you disagree on cleaning habits. There is a lot of grey area in between, but the basic approach is the same – is this tenable or not?

We should never seek out pain, as some do. We should never try to induce pain. Yet, we have to accept the inevitability of suffering – it is a part of the human journey, the result of not being God.

The best we can do concerning pain is to discern where it is coming from (which kind it is) and see it as an opportunity (no matter which kind it is). Our choices cannot negate or eclipse our pain, but they can transform it into a valuable part of our journey.

Previous Post

May 12, 2020

The Subtle Power of Omission

Next Post

May 19, 2020 3 Relationship Dead Ends

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Choices Conflict Resolution Culture Change Emotions Failure Faith Fear Freedom V Growth Healthy Communication Hope Identity Influence Leadership Learn Mistakes Mood Curve Ownership Perspective Power Relationships Self-Awareness Self-Governance Systems Thinking Three Things You Control Transformational Leadership Trust Truth Uncategorized Values Vision

Select a Month January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the distinctive cup used in receiving communion in many traditions?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jug Plate Chalice Bowl

Books by This Author Books by Victorious Living

See All Titles »