Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Victorious Living

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
Speaking the Truth Can Transform Your Relationship

Speaking the Truth Can Transform Your Relationship

Last updated on: September 7, 2019 at 10:51 pm by Victorious Living

Speaking the Truth Can Transform Your Relationship 2019-09-07T22:51:34-04:00 Victorious Living

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Relationships are hard. We try all sorts of different things to make them better. Even in the best of relationships, struggle and perseverance are inevitable. We encounter challenges at every corner. We cannot escape them, but we try to work through them with activities and ideas that keep the passion going, remind us of the purpose of relationship, and rekindle the joy of togetherness.

Perhaps the one thing that will transform a relationship more than anything else is a simple, easy, obvious practice. State the truth.

Truth is elusive in our relationships. There are walls of perception and face-saving excuses. Blaming practices and a fear of conflict. But the courage and commitment to say the truth is vital for relationships and here is why:

Not So Obvious

When we were on the World Race, it was required for our team to meet every night and talk about the day. We gave each other “feedback” about where we saw successes and failures in each other. It was painful and awkward, but was also one of the keys to developing trust, intimacy, and unity. Of course, for some teams it was done so poorly, it destroyed them. That is the great fear. But it doesn’t have to be so. The alternative is stale apathy.

One of the Race teams did a thing called Obvious Feedback. They spent a night telling each other about all the great things they see in one another. The obvious things.

We have a guy in our NYC community group that is so incredible at inviting people to group. He’s our evangelist. He has a gift for relationships. It is so clear to all of us. But to him, it doesn’t seem that big of a deal. He, like all of us, doesn’t think he is doing anything special.

This is how speaking the truth can transform a relationship. Tell your wife how much you adore her laugh. Tell her over and over. Tell your husband how great he is at X, Y, or Z.

People do not see truth the same way you do, especially concerning themselves. There are people in this world wildly empathetic, charismatic, bold, and wise who have no idea of the gifts they are walking in. Everyone around assumes they hear it all the time, but maybe they don’t. Be the one to share truth. State it. Say it. What is obvious to you may not be obvious to them.

The Humbling Truth

There is nothing more important to relationship than truth. We need to run toward it. State how we feel, what we think, and what we see in others. Bringing the truth to light breeds health. Even if it causes some hurt and confusion, if stewarded properly it ends in thriving.

And remember that truth is a two way street. Just like the people in the stories above, you have a hard time seeing some obvious truth! It goes both ways. There are things about you, both positive and negative, that you are blind to. Obvious things. And you need a community to call them out, to help you trim and inflame respectively. Truth flows in both directions. And tapping into it is the lifeblood of relationships.

Start speaking the truth today. Start with the clear and obvious. Say it every time you see it, over and over again. It will transform both you and your relationships.

Previous Post

July 10, 2019

The Value of Endless Construction

Next Post

July 15, 2019 How to Destroy an Idol

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Choices Conflict Resolution Culture Change Emotions Failure Faith Fear Freedom V Growth Healthy Communication Hope Identity Influence Leadership Learn Mistakes Mood Curve Ownership Perspective Power Relationships Self-Awareness Self-Governance Systems Thinking Three Things You Control Transformational Leadership Trust Truth Uncategorized Values Vision

Select a Month January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: Eve was created from Adam's rib.

Select your answer to see how you score.

FALSE TRUE

Books by This Author Books by Victorious Living

See All Titles »