Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

UU Collective

Home
New Visions
Kick the Dog, Pet the Dog—Off-Loading Anxiety

Kick the Dog, Pet the Dog—Off-Loading Anxiety

Last updated on: November 17, 2016 at 5:59 am by David Breeden

Kick the Dog, Pet the Dog—Off-Loading Anxiety 2016-11-17T05:59:51-07:00 David Breeden

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

There’s two things we can do with suffering: we can kick the dog; or we can pet the dog. That’s really as complicated as it gets. We can kick the dog; or we can pet the dog. Or the cat. Or the parakeet. Or our partners or kids or co-workers or fellow citizens.

Because, as Franciscan priest Richard Rohr points out, suffering will be either transmitted or transformed. We transmit suffering in negative ways: depression, anxiety, anger, sleep loss, appetite loss, inability to focus, and on.

We transform suffering only when we stop and think about it. It’s not natural to transform suffering. We naturally see our suffering as a big concrete block wall. Nothing to be fixed there.

But it can be done.

You can’t find your keys. You’re running late. You are suffering. You can kick the dog.

Or you can pet the dog.

You can yell at the next person you see. Or you can smile and speak a kind word. It’s up to you.

Let me see how your religion or philosophy transmits or transforms suffering.

From shamanism to Cynicism to New Age, religions and philosophies are ways that we human beings have developed to deal with pain and suffering.

To tell the truth, philosophies and religions can’t do much about pain. Aspirin helps; anesthesia; morphine; some sorts of pills; exercise. But—outside of a small placebo effect—philosophy or religion don’t fix pain.

Suffering, however, is a mental formation, and something religious and philosophical practice can affect. Suffering is an emotional reaction. The Buddha realized that suffering is the heart of the human problem, and so he set out to face it head-on.

Suffering is caused, the Buddha said, by the nature of human life itself—nothing is permanent; everything changes. We want stability and sameness. But life cannot provide that. And so it is that we suffer.

We can end our suffering, the Buddha taught, by seeing the nature of reality and adapting our minds to that reality.

The Greeks too differentiated between lupe, sorrow, and ponos, physical pain. Epicureanism is based on the idea that we should first and foremost avoid pain and pursue pleasure; care in this pursuit helps with suffering.

Stoicism, like Buddhism, teaches methods for bearing and overcoming mental suffering. Hence Epictetus would say, “We are affected not by things (events) but by the view we take of things.

Father Richard Rohr has worked to bring these psychological insights into Christianity.

Perhaps these methods of dealing with the human condition sound pessimistic, but even a cursory look at the evidence around us shows that change is what we get, and change often brings suffering.

Change is inevitable. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. And here’s the thing about suffering: it’s just like an electrical current—it’s going to go somewhere. It’s going to ground itself.

One of the complications of being a Humanist is that we don’t have any scripture. We don’t have any way to off-load our personal hurt onto scriptures or gods—there’s no scripture saying it’s OK to kick the dog or use patriarchy. There’s none of the “eye for an eye” business. Nope. We have to face up to our actions. We have to face the facts—are we transmitting suffering rather than transforming it.

We have no excuse for kicking the dog. Or taking it out on our fellow citizens of the world.

Sure, sometimes even a Buddha is going to kick the dog. That’s human nature, that transmission thing—to off-load our suffering onto others. But we don’t get to excuse ourselves. The dog doesn’t get un-kicked because we’re sorry. Repentance doesn’t include the removal of the pain the dog felt when it got kicked. We’ve got to keep ourselves ever-ready to transform.

We always have to do better next time.

#anxiety #humanism #humanist

Previous Post

November 15, 2016

Be about that loving and justice-making

Next Post

November 17, 2016 Now What?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category #9/11 Abortion Class community conflict Digital Life Diversity Divorce Environmental issues Evangelism Faith Development Foregiveness Garden glbt Gratitude Grief Healing health care Holidays Hospitality Interfaith LGBT Issues Military Service Mortality Orlando Parenting Peace Politics Power Prayer Racism Relationships Religion Scripture Senior citizens Sermons simplicity Social Justice Spirituality Sports Sustainability Uncategorized Unitarian Universalist Values Women's Issues World Community Worship

Select a Month August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What famous prayer did Jesus teach his followers?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Lord's Prayer The Jesus Prayer The Hail Mary The Prayer of Jabez