Wait Pray Hope: Life with TBI

Last updated on: March 5, 2022 at 8:54 am by Paul Louis Metzger

Wait Pray Hope: Life with TBI 2022-03-05T08:54:27-08:00 Paul Louis Metzger

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Walking with Christopher on the beach at Sunnyside when he was a small child.

Many years ago, I watched the movie Eat Pray Love. It stars Julia Roberts. I thought about the title this morning, as I was reflecting on our experience with Christopher and his traumatic brain injury.

As I recall, the movie and the book from which it hails is about a woman’s journey and quest for meaning and purpose in life following a divorce. Like a divorce, a tragedy involving a child can be devastating to a family’s wellbeing. By the grace of God, my wife and I experience an incredible bond of solidarity and mutual affection amid our pain and suffering. Where would I be without Mariko—especially now?

The movie features a fair share of eating. We have bought our fair share of TV dinners over the past year plus due to the lack of time to cook. There are so many pressing responsibilities in caring for our young man. Thank goodness for Trader Joe’s! Where would we be without that store—especially now?

The film also highlights meditation and prayer. From the subconscious to conscious and everywhere in between, prayer has become a lifeline to God’s throne, as has Scripture. It’s as if I am living with a trach that helps me cry out what is deep inside my lungs to God and a feeding tube that brings me life-sustaining nutrients. Where would we be without God?

The story is also about love, as Julia Roberts’ character experiences a romantic relationship far away from home. Where would we be without love?

I can think of no greater necessity for life than love. Love is what keeps us going. God’s love for us, our love for one another, our love for our son and family, people’s love for Christopher and us makes such an incredible difference.

Love leads us to wait on God, to pray, and to hope. One of my favorite passages of Scripture reflects upon this truth. God’s loving purpose through Jesus and God’s Spirit for our son’s life, our lives, your lives, comforts us in the face of suffering. Hope does not disappoint us, since God grants us peace and hope as we trust in God:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5; NIV)

Speaking of peace with God, I am not a peaceful man by nature. As my wife said to me years ago in a moment of exasperation, “You’re an edgy man.” My kids chuckled. I didn’t. How could I? I’m edgy. And yet, while edgy, I often experience incredible and inexplainable peace these days. I am not a man of great faith, hope, or prayer, but I can’t help but lean into God for my son’s life. What other option do I have than to wait, pray, and hope? Despair is not an option. That won’t help me when the spiritual neuro-storming starts up again deep in the dark night.

A year has now passed since Christopher’s traumatic brain injury. We have reason to hope for meaningful recovery based on signs and signals of various kinds. Here I call to mind the latest post I wrote, which included a variety of observations. That said, the signs and signals are not off the charts—Christopher hasn’t started singing or jumping out of bed. The signs and signals do not manifest themselves every hour of the day. They do not appear often enough! Like my emotional and mental state, Christopher does not always experience homeostasis. Sometimes he is quite lethargic. At other times, thunderstorms in his brain rock him in his bed. And me.

I am still on this journey—not to Italy, India, and Bali, but to the care facility and back home: Wait, hope, pray. Wait, hope, pray. And oh yes, with occasional layovers at Trader Joe’s.

Thank you for journeying with us! Where would we be without you?! For the most recent update on observations to which I alluded above, please go to “The Christopher Movement” post at this link.

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About Paul Louis Metzger

Paul Louis Metzger, Ph.D., is Professor of Theology & Culture; Director of The Institute for Cultural Engagement: New Wine, New Wineskins; and Author and Editor of numerous works, including Evangelical Zen: A Christian's Spiritual Travels with a Buddhist Friend as well as Setting the Spiritual Clock: Sacred Time Breaking Through the Secular Eclipse. You can read more about the author here.

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