Awesome Limericks = Free Books

Last updated on: March 13, 2015 at 4:48 pm by Tony Jones

Awesome Limericks = Free Books 2015-03-13T16:48:42-05:00 Tony Jones

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Last week, I ran a contest whereby readers could submit limericks about Christian social justice and win a copy of the new book by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo, Red Letter Revolution: What If Jesus Really Meant What He Said?. Below are the winners, as chosen by me based on hilarity and the rules of limericks (which some entrants struggled to obey).

Next week, a similar contest to win copies of Rachel Held Evans’s new book.

And now, without further ado, the winners:

Simon, with two-for-one:

Could parables spoken by Jesus
be stronger than Paul’s exegesis?
Though they mention hell
They fail to dwell
On Topics the epistles lead with.

For example:

A rich man enjoyed himself well
But foolish, he landed in hell
Through thirsting and burning
in torment and yearning
He’s wise, but with no one to tell.

Red letters found in Luke 16:19-31

Dave Burkum:

Christ came preaching that things should be better
For the poor, the oppressed, and the fettered.
More blinded would see,
More captives set free,
If more Christians would read the red letters.

Jennifer:

There was a young girl from Kentucky,
Who found all the bickering yucky.
She decided to read,
Red Words planted the seed;
She decided to help the unlucky.

MMorse:

There once was Christian inspired –
to make high-interest loans he desired.
Said his church: “Don’t you see? We embrace Jubilee
And forgiveness is firmly required.”

Ed Taylor:

hey’ll always be with us, you’re saying
But careful the groundwork you’re laying
The poor, you’re ignoring
While money you’re pouring
In buildings designed just for praying

Jim Armstrong:

We argue whose doctrines are right;
which hymns and whose Bibles delight,
while sick and rejected,
and those unprotected,
lie dying just out of our sight.

Rogue Pioneer:

Jesus looked down with concern,
Saying “my goodness, will they never learn?”
that by ignoring the poor
they’re locking the door*
for themselves upon my return

Benjamin Howard:

There was a professor in Philly
Who thought forgetting the poor was just silly
He mentored a student
Who found his words prudent
Though he has hair like Milli Vanilli

JMW:

Though Jesus proclaimeth God’s reign,
Most Christians regardeth him insane.
So we oppress the poor,
Make profit from war,
And worshipeth companies like Bain.

Charity Jill:

There once was a brand New Monastic,
Whose followers danced crazy and spastic.
They prayed, “God send peace!”
And His Spirit released.
Thus war and poverty got their ass kicked.

I realize that the last two have some meter problems, but I grant them some poetic license.

Previous Post

October 18, 2012

Mitt's Mormonism Matters: Considering a Candidate's Faith

Next Post

October 19, 2012 If We're Wrong, It's No Big Deal [Questions That Haunt]

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category bible blogging books christianity in america church church history dissertation divorce Dog Training education emergent church essay family funny glbt jopa productions ministry minnesota movies music parenting philosophy politics Prayer publishing Questions That Haunt random same sex marriage speaking spirituality Teaching technology television theology Travels Uncategorized writing youth ministry

Select a Month January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 June 2006 May 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 June 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 August 2004 February 2004 January 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What holiday celebrates Jesus’ birth?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Christmas Ascension Day Good Friday Easter