Mondays with Mark

Last updated on: March 13, 2015 at 5:05 pm by Guest Contributor

Mondays with Mark 2015-03-13T17:05:56-05:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Here’s the next in my occasional series with Mark Patrick, my spiritual director.

Tony: Mark, one of the things that you’ve said to me that
caused me a great deal of introspection came in the late summer. I
was describing to you how angry I was getting over a particular situation,
and then I made some comment about how my weakness seems to be anger over
depression. Then you said, “Tony, anger is depression.”

That
surprised me because I tend to think of depression as the “noonday demon,”
and I think a lot of people agree with me. But then I read The
Chemistry of Joy, which you recommended, and it really opened my eyes to
the different way that depression manifests itself in different
people.

Mark: Tony, I recall that
conversation. And I recall many times in my own experience where I
found it hard to separate anger and depression as well. A good deal
of my understanding comes from the work of Dr. Steven Stosny, a researcher
and therapist from the Maryland area. While it’s based on current
brain research I find it completely compatible with my understanding
of the teachings of Jesus Christ.

The bottom line is that
the catalyst for both anger and depression is often the hurts we
experience at a very deep level…experiencing feelings of being
misunderstood, rejected, unimportant, powerless, and even unlovable.
Out of those feelings (and the thoughts that led to them) we can lash out
at someone else, get upset with ourselves, withdraw from others in
isolation, or try to avoid the hurts altogether with some compulsive
behaviors that only complicate our situations.

I recall a couple decades
ago many counselors would tell our clients who were depressed that they
need to get in touch with their anger! So, several sessions later
the client was less outwardly depressed, but now more angry and often
blaming someone else for their difficulty.

Now I see both anger and
depression as two sides of the same coin. Both are stimulated by a
lack of compassion for ourselves and others.

And our emotional
experience also stems from other factors which include; one’s genetic
makeup, lifestyle factors such as nutrition, exercise, stress
reduction, and less tangible but just as real factors as ones
positive connections through faith, prayer, and
meditation. All of these are made more effective with helpful candid
connections with other people.

Tony: Well, I know that you’ve had your own experiences with depression,
too, and that’s helped me so much when we’ve met. What I’m saying is
that it’s gone beyond the clinical into the ability to share life with one
another.

I know beyond a doubt that exercise and diet affect my
tendencies toward “angry depression,” as Henry Emmons writes about. He
breaks depression down into three types: anxiety depression, angry depression,
and slothful depression. As I read those chapters, I knew clearly where
I fit, and I’ve tried, of late, to change my diet, sleep, and exercise
patterns as he suggests (although my back surgery has slowed down my progress
a bit). Emmons even suggests certain types of food and herbs that will
literally affect my brain chemistry and supplement the overages or deficiences
I have in particular brain chemicals! I found that information
fascinating.

Are you willing write a bit about our own journey through
a particular type of depression?

Mark: As
I think back on my life I have always leaned a bit
toward depression. I used to think of it as being the reflective
type, you know English Major and all that. However, I had a few
factors that made me more
susceptable to depression: I believe both my
parents struggled with depression. My father’s was complicated by
his alcohol abuse. So, there was a genetic factor there for me.
Beyond that I had quite a conservative religious background in church,
where at that time anger and depression were both suspect.
There was high value placed on being nice and not making waves.
Asking questions was not especially
encouraged. So, my interpretation was that I should be happy and not be
upset–or it was my own fault.

A couple years ago I finally
went to find some help for myself. I didn’t realize that I still had
some of the stigma attached to getting help for mental health I criticised
others for having. I thought it was fine as long as it was someone else,
but I shouldn’t need it myself. Which I know is simply not the
case. So, I’ve found a number of resources that are vital to
me now. First is a more candid and deeper relationship with my
wife. Next is actually a deeper experience of faith–a focus on
contemplative prayer. One type of journalling for me consists
of writing prayers–simple, honest, candid, and personal…I have a stronger
sense of God’s presence than previouisly.

Along with that are the
principles you mentioned from The Chemistry of Joy book: Better
nutrition, more exercise, some medication, and meditation. But in all of
it is a more open attitude toward myself and allowing other people to know
me. I’m finding a kind of connection with people I tried to provide for
others but didn’t often experience myself. Now I’m
learning…

spirituality

Previous Post

February 23, 2009

Who Was/Is Jesus?

Next Post

February 24, 2009 Comment of the Day

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category bible blogging books christianity in america church church history dissertation divorce Dog Training education emergent church essay family funny glbt jopa productions ministry minnesota movies music parenting philosophy politics Prayer publishing Questions That Haunt random same sex marriage speaking spirituality Teaching technology television theology Travels Uncategorized writing youth ministry

Select a Month January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 June 2006 May 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 June 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 August 2004 February 2004 January 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Christ" mean in Greek?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Lord of Lords Chosen One Savior Anointed One