Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Through Broken Roses

Home
Catholic
All Souls Day as a Grieving Mother: Year 1

All Souls Day as a Grieving Mother: Year 1

Last updated on: November 3, 2017 at 7:46 am by Leticia Adams

All Souls Day as a Grieving Mother: Year 1 2017-11-03T07:46:00-05:00 Leticia Adams

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A weeping angel gravestone in a cemetery in Rome. I took this picture on my trip there in 2010.

When I walked around the cemetery in Rome and came across this headstone I thought about the kind of love and grief that would inspire a man to have it made for his wife’s grave. I never imagined that seven years later I would understand that kind of love and grief on such a personal level as I do now.

Today is All Souls Day, a day that I have used to show how Catholic I am for the last 8 years. This is the day that separates us from Protestants, the day we pray for our dead! We have traditions and things we do for the day to mark it and celebrate it. We are Catholic. That is what this day has meant to me in the years past. I didn’t grieve any of the losses of our loved ones on this day. I used them. I used them to make a point. I don’t remember ever being sad on All Souls day before. But today I am so very sad.

I regret all of those years of not really grasping exactly what this day is about. It is not about sticking it to Protestants, although it surely makes a good argument about why we pray for the dead that isn’t so “we are right and ya’ll suck”, but it is so much more than that. It is so personal because we will all die one day and because, for me anyway, losing Anthony isn’t something to use to make an argument. Even if I wanted to do that, it would be impossible because I am just so completely stunned this is my life.

The intimacy that I feel this year is something I haven’t ever had. This Feast Day feels like it is all up in my business today. Every moment is me thinking and praying for the soul of my son and hoping for his salvation. Hope for Catholics is not the same as making a wish, it is about trusting in God’s promises even when we do not see how things could be possible.

Today is a difficult day. It never has been difficult for me before. I have always been cheerful and very much “thank God we are Catholic and know that people go to heaven” minded, which is part of that Prosperity Gospel the Catholic version I have talked about before. But today is not the same. Today comes with tears and with prayers and with me begging God for a sign that my son is ok.

Today I am in a space of accepting that this is real. He is really dead and that my option now is to pray for him until the day that I die in hopes that he will meet me and take me to Jesus. That also means not cussing people out online or in real life, staying close to the Sacraments and striving for sainthood.

All Souls Day Year 1: I miss Anthony and can’t do anything but pray for him today.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages and emails telling me ya’ll are lighting candles and offering masses for him today. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me.

Life After Suicide Loss

Suicide

Year 1

Previous Post

October 24, 2017

Faith After Tragedy

Next Post

November 29, 2017 I am Mourning

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category #PopeInUS 7 quick takes Abortion Bad Days Book Review Books Caitlyn Jenner Catholicsim Conversion Crosses Death Dignity of the Human Person Easter Ethics Evil Fall Family Fear Freedom Gay Marriage God Holy Week Homosexuality Jesus Laughter Lessons Love Marriage Mass Motherhood My Life New Evangelzation new year Parenting Peace Planned Parenthood Politics Pope Francis Pregnancy Race Rap Music Relationships Saints Sins Suffering Tempation The Catholic Church The Past Things about me Trust Truth Uncategorized Women's rights Writing

Select a Month December 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 October 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 August 2011 July 2011 May 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In the last days, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will do what?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Rejoice Prophesy Worship Sing