Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Through Broken Roses

Home
Catholic
There but For the Grace of God

There but For the Grace of God

Last updated on: August 28, 2013 at 11:00 am by Leticia Adams

There but For the Grace of God 2013-08-28T11:00:02-05:00 Leticia Adams

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

When I got divorced from my first husband at 28 I went a bit crazy. More like wild and crazy. “Free” as the world says. I did what I wanted, how I wanted, with whoever I wanted, however many times I wanted and I said “Only God can judge me” to myself everyday when I woke up. I had already been promiscuous as a teen, but this time, I was in control and I had a new friend: Grey Goose. I wasn’t being used, I was the one using. That is what I told myself anyway. All of this stuff came back to me because I am attempting to write my conversion story and it’s at the front of my mind. Also, Miley Cyrus at the VMAs happened.

I didn’t watch it as it happened; my oldest son was watching it and told me about it. Then Facebook exploded and it was all downhill from there. I’ve read blog after blog about it and had more than a few discussions about it on social media. The reason that it matters to me so much is because I honestly think that our young girls are getting sent into a world that they are not ready for and people like Miley Cyrus who think that it’s all fun and games have no clue what they are setting our daughters up for. I know because I have encouraged plenty of young women to follow in my footsteps; girls who looked up to me when I was acting up and they have paid dearly for it. Giving yourself away to so many men takes something away from women. It changes who a woman is. We are made to be cherished by one man for our whole lives. When that doesn’t happen, we break, no matter how strong we think we are. No matter how much we think that we are special and we can do it.

I read the lyrics to her song and they sound exactly like my thoughts when I was at my worst. I was giving the world the finger by doing whatever it was that I wanted to do. I fell for the lie that if you gave up all sexual inhibitions that you would be free. Hugh Hefner actually said that was the motivation behind creating Playboy: to free women. Just like the serpent in the desert told Eve that God was lying about the fruit on that tree and if she ate it, she would be free. He still is lying to us only now it about sex. That if we follow His rules we will be oppressed but if we eat that fruit, we will be like God and know the things that He knows. Same old tricks.

And where is the outrage at Robin Thicke? I’ve seen people ask why any of this matters; the reason that it matters is because our sons are listening to this music thinking that their goal in life should be to find a good girl and turn her out. (From the Urban dictionary “Turn out: To turn a good person with minimal or shy sexual experience into a freaky sex hungry nympho”) Then our daughters start thinking that the way to get attention is to be like Miley and let those boys do whatever they want to them.

I was that girl for most of my life. I feel sorry for the girls of this generation. When I was clubbing I was in my late twenties and early thirties. The brokenness and emptiness that life left in me was almost too much for me to handle. I don’t know how young girls these days will survive. I really don’t.

When I finally watched the video of Miley’s performance what I saw was myself. Me dancing on the speaker of the club I used to go out to and that I worked at for years. I saw myself acting like a sex crazed nympho with some guy that every other girl thought was hot and cool. (Women do think that about Robin Thicke) I saw myself drunk and acting a damn fool while people watched in shock .What everyone saw Miley doing on Sunday night was what I did almost every night from the age of 18 to 33. I added the Grey Goose when I was 28 and that was like a match to gasoline. If there was video of those nights on that speaker, I wonder how many “good” Catholics would say that I’m disgusting.

I have said many times that I do not blame anyone for the choices that I made. I am fully aware of what I chose to do and who I chose to do it with, those sins stand alone on their own and they were mine to ask forgiveness for. But that doesn’t erase the sins of the men who used me. Why do boys do that to girls and then later on to women? Because we turn a blind eye to it, even now, everyone is talking about Miley, not Robin Thicke or 2 Chainz.

The words to the Robin Thicke song are all about taking a good girl and turning her out. Every song that 2 Chainz sings is about bitches and hoes. It’s not new. It’s been happening for a very long time now. And we are the problem because we dance to that crap, we buy that crap and we let our kids download that crap. If you don’t do any of that but you call people who do “disgusting” or say they have no moral compass, then you are still part of the problem. We, as the Church; the Body of Christ, are supposed to be the ones helping them find it. Not calling them names and patting ourselves on the back for not being “those kinds of people”.

You wanna help Miley Cyrus? Go down to the closest Jr. High to you and start mentoring the students there. Chances are that they don’t have role models that aren’t on TV and their parents would appreciate the help. There are girls all over this country in the 6th, 7th and 8th grades that are getting talked into having sex as I type. I was 14 when I began being sexuality active of my choice. The man who I had sex with was in his mid-twenties. I was in the 8th grade. I know plenty of other girls who I grew up with who had sex in the 7th and 8th grade. Miley isn’t the problem, she is a product of the problem. The problem started a long time ago when the generation before mine thought it would be awesome to be sexually free. Nothing in this world is free, and now this generation is paying for it.

On a last note: If you have children, then do not make snarky comments about Miley or her parents because there but for the Grace of God. Remember that she is someone’s child and more importantly, she is God’s child. The last thing you want is to wake up one day with your daughter seeking love in all the wrong places, including that laps of men who think it’s ok to make it rain on her while she twerks. Or have one of your sons be the one who thinks it’s cool to treat women that way.

Previous Post

July 24, 2013

Sometimes I leave God behind to Follow Myself

Next Post

August 29, 2013 The Catholic Writers Retreat

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category #PopeInUS 7 quick takes Abortion Bad Days Book Review Books Caitlyn Jenner Catholicsim Conversion Crosses Death Dignity of the Human Person Easter Ethics Evil Fall Family Fear Freedom Gay Marriage God Holy Week Homosexuality Jesus Laughter Lessons Love Marriage Mass Motherhood My Life New Evangelzation new year Parenting Peace Planned Parenthood Politics Pope Francis Pregnancy Race Rap Music Relationships Saints Sins Suffering Tempation The Catholic Church The Past Things about me Trust Truth Uncategorized Women's rights Writing

Select a Month December 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 May 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 October 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 August 2011 July 2011 May 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which short letter urges forgiveness for a runaway slave named Onesimus?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jude Philemon Titus 2 Timothy