Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
The view from the pew, reflections from a retired clergy: guilt and peace edition

The view from the pew, reflections from a retired clergy: guilt and peace edition

Last updated on: September 13, 2016 at 2:29 pm by Christy Thomas

The view from the pew, reflections from a retired clergy: guilt and peace edition 2016-09-13T14:29:41-05:00 Christy Thomas

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Retirement Enlightenment

celosia from my garden September 2016

A celosia bloom from my garden

Retirement came early. A bundle of forces had pushed it.

When that stuff wasn’t there, and when the relationships that circled around church/ministry just disappeared, quietness engulfed me. I discovered the extent of my spiritual and physical exhaustion. I learned how dependent I had become on the adrenaline push to get me through the day rather than paying better attention to more healthy bodily rhythms.

I discovered I was not very important in the big scheme of things–and, frankly, in the little scheme of things. It hurt. I wanted people to miss me, for things to fall apart because I was not there because that was where my validation was.

I found myself immediately looking for other opportunities to be in ministry, to be needed and important and necessary to the lives of others.

For me, it exposed deep soul sickness.

A celosia bloom from my garden

I am still healing, and discovering that I am not yet ready to enter into other ministry work yet. That is why I needed to resign from the ministry board. The mission is dear to my heart BUT my soul kept screaming, “You’ve got to leave this. You are not bringing health to them because you are not healthy. You want the prestige of being a Board Member because you think that will fill you up. It won’t. You must go inside to find your wholeness.”

I struggle terribly with feeling selfish for doing what I genuinely love doing: my time with my husband and planning our travels, my thriving garden which offers much neighborhood beauty, my slowly emerging writing, my renewed enjoyment at simply being a bit domestic and keeping a smooth household so my husband can do his work supported and undistracted.

Finding Joy

These things bring me joy. I’ve been greatly influenced by Marie Kondo’s “The life-changing magic of tidying up” and her insistence that any object we keep must offer us joy. So I’ve discarded many, many items in the last few years. They had ceased to bring joy and instead drained my energy. There is peace with this for now.

I hope to engage in some sort of ministry, volunteer work, etc. in the next few years, but I sense that this is not the time. I will teach a series this fall at a local church, but all they’ve asked is that I bring some of my favorite “Ask the Thoughtful Pastor” columns for further discussion, so it will be relaxed and lighthearted.

I do occasionally fill the pulpit for a vacationing pastor and totally enjoy it–and then know I don’t want to be doing that again regularly ever again.

pew benches in a Quaker meeitng house

Pew benches in a Quaker meeting house

Mostly, I just am. I’ve learned to appreciate my aging body in new ways. I delight that I can put my feet on the floor in the morning, in the aches that follow the hours in the garden, in the hunger that accompanies intense physical exercise.

I’ve never just “been” before. I still have much to learn; I still want to value myself on what I do, what I produce. But that’s starting to fade.

I am enjoying the view from the pew. Very, very much.

united methodist church

United Methodist Clergy

Previous Post

September 12, 2016

Murdering hands, dead acquaintances, broken logic

Next Post

September 15, 2016 Ask the Thoughtful Pastor: birth control and God's curse

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category " obedience abortion accommodation accountability administration adolescence Advent advice an ordinary death anxiety apology apportionments Ash Wednesday ask thoughtfulpastor baptism betrayal Bible bondage calling certainty change character charity children Christianity Christmas church church as garden clergy clergy credentials closure comfort compassion competition compromise Confirmation conservation conservative conspiracy theories consumer conversion coronavirua corruption courage covenant cultural context death Deconstruction discipleship discord divorce doctrine doing good drugs dysfunctional Easter Easter; Resurrection education election entertainment envy escape evaluation evil exclusive church exercise faith faithfulness family fasting fear feast featured film review finances first world problem food forgiveness fundamentalist garden gay marriage General Conference generosity giving thanks GLBT glory good government grace guilt habit happy harmony hateful acts healing health health care heaven hell hello/goodbye heresy hidden agenda holiness homelessness homosexuality humility hymn hypocrisy Imago Dei In training inclusive church indulgence injustice innocents insurance intolerance itinerancy joy Justice kindness Kingdom of Heave kingdom of heaven language laughter laundry lawsuit leadership Lent LGBTQ liberal life Little Things Matter longform meandering thoughts memories mercy metaphor metrics miracle misfortunes morality Mormon Muslim mystery worship natural disasters New Category Name nutrients older adults oppression pain Paleo paperwork partnered pastor peace pension pharmaceutical placebo politics poverty prayer privilege public schools questions quiet racism rain reason reconciliation religion repentance requirements rescue respect rest resurrection retirement Sabbath sacrament sacred salvation same-sex marriage sanctuary schism schooling science SCOTUS secrecy separation of church and state sexism sexuality short cuts silence sin sleep soil spiritual journey stillness suffering surgery sustainable church teacher technology thank you theology therapy thinking tolerance TOS trust truth Uncategorized welcome Why Easter? wisdom women worship

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 December 2025 October 2025 September 2025 July 2025 June 2025 March 2025 February 2025 December 2024 November 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 April 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 October 2022 September 2022 July 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 October 2021 July 2021 June 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 January 2020 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 July 2007 March 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz