Why I Let My Kids Play with Poison

Last updated on: June 27, 2012 at 10:56 am by Amy Julia Becker

Why I Let My Kids Play with Poison 2012-06-27T10:56:09-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

We went to a graduation party a few weeks back. It was a lovely afternoon, with family and friends gathered to celebrate the graduate at her home. We brought all three kids with us, and we faced a decision. There was an open space with food and drink and tables, and then an enclosed backyard. After I chased Marilee, who was striding toward the street, a few times, I decided to put her behind the fence with Penny and William.

Marilee is 16 months going on 4 years old. She desperately wants to be able to do everything her big brother and sister can do. She resists her high chair. She loves brushing her teeth. She hates it when I carry her up the stairs to save time and insatead wants to do it herself, not on hands and knees, but step by laborious step.

Penny and William had discovered two treasures of the backyard, and Marilee quickly joined in their fun. First, a Bilco door. There was a chance of injury for all of them as they ran up and down the uneven metal surface,but since Marilee still sometimes walks like a drunken sailor, hers was the most precarious position.

Then there were the berries, littered upon the ground which all three kids decided should adorn the bird fountain.

And yes, I knew the berries were poisonous.

It became a simple series of equations:

1) likelihood that she will fall off the Bilco door? Significant, but even if she does, she’s probably not going to sustain significant injury.

2) That she’ll eat the berries? Unlikely. Early on, I watched her put one in her mouth and spit it out.

3) That, if I remove her from the backyard and allow her to roam she will run into the street? High enough that I wasnt willing to take the risk.

And so, poisonous berries and Bilco door it was.

At the end of the day, of course I’m supposed to keep my kids safe. And perhaps I was being negligent or self indulgent or just lazy in my approach to the afternoon. But safety involves taking calculated risks, giving freedom within boundaries and recognizing that uncertainty and danger is a part of nearly every situation. I don’t want to subject my kids to needless danger but I do want to teach them, and myself, that I can’t control every aspect of their lives. Marilee made it through the day–muddy, sweaty, happy–and unscathed:

And still wearing her favorite little red shoes.

family

children

safety

Previous Post

June 26, 2012

Jill's House: How One Girl’s Disability Is Transforming Hundreds of Lives by Cameron Doolittle

Next Post

June 28, 2012 On Love, Waiting for God, and What Makes Us Human

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Articles Books Disability Down Syndrome Faith family Perfectly Human Uncategorized

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 September 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz