On Change, Pacifiers, and Helping Each Other Out

Last updated on: August 31, 2011 at 3:58 pm by Amy Julia Becker

On Change, Pacifiers, and Helping Each Other Out 2011-08-31T12:11:38-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

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A few nights back (in fact, in the midst of Hurricane Irene, an inauspicious choice) William said, “Mom, can you take my passy away?” (He still uses a pacifier to go to sleep, and if I were to let him walk around with it all day long, he’d carry it willingly.)

“Sure, William,” I said. “Why don’t I put it here on this table so you can reach it if you change your mind?”

“No, Mom. Can you put it far far away and high up where I can’t reach it?”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

So I took the passy away, and he slept, fitfully, without it.

It made me think about what it takes to break a habit. First, there’s the recognition that you want something to change. I think for William that came in watching Penny get rid of her passy (which, yes, only happened a few weeks ago!). Then there’s the recognition that such change is difficult and might necessitate the help of another person. Then there’s the even harder step of actually asking that person for that help. And, finally, there’s the follow through on both sides.

The next morning, when William woke up, he said, “Mom, can I have my passy back?”

“I thought you wanted to be done with your passy?”

“Can I be done on Sunday?”

“William, today is Sunday.”

“Oh.” He stuck out his lower lip. “Then can I be done on Friday?”

He went to sleep with his passy again. Habits are very hard to break.

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