Don’t Blame It On Down Syndrome . . .

Last updated on: August 31, 2011 at 9:02 am by Amy Julia Becker

Don’t Blame It On Down Syndrome . . . 2011-08-30T22:13:19-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I’ve written here on a number of occasions about my hopes (and fears) for Penny when it comes to making friends. I try to arrange playdates. I talk to her teachers about her social skills. We practice “using her words” and looking people in the eye. We bemoan how often she just wants to crawl into an adult’s lap and cuddle instead of running around with other kids. And, quite frankly, we generally blame Down syndrome for this behavior.

I do think Down syndrome has something to do with it. Penny didn’t walk until she was two, and even then she required a good deal of physical assistance. She was dependent upon adults for help for a lot longer than other children might be, and much of that came as a result of low muscle tone. And since speech is more difficult for kids with Down syndrome, I assume that Penny’s language skills might impede her ability to make friends.

But then we had a series of guests come to visit over the summer. All of them had big families with three or four kids, all typically-developing. And all of them worried out loud about their eldest child having a hard time making friends. The oldest children, they related, often had friends over to play and the friends ended up playing with a younger sibling. The oldest children preferred adult company. The oldest children preferred to read books on their own over freeze tag on the lawn.

By the time we had heard this story four times, Peter and I started to realize we thought Penny’s trouble making friends was all a result of Down syndrome. We had forgotten that she’s also the oldest child, the oldest grandchild, the oldest great-grandchild, and for the first two and a half years of her life, she received every ounce of familial attention she could possibly want. Yes, she has Down syndrome, and it has contributed in some way to her social development. What seems to matter even more, however, is that she was born first. Go figure.

family

Previous Post

August 30, 2011

A Good and Perfect Gift is In Stock! (And a Free Excerpt)

Next Post

August 31, 2011 On Change, Pacifiers, and Helping Each Other Out

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Articles Books Disability Down Syndrome Faith family Perfectly Human Uncategorized

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 September 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz