Perfectly Human: All for the Good… by Kelly Wendel

Last updated on: April 26, 2012 at 7:40 pm by Amy Julia Becker

Perfectly Human: All for the Good… by Kelly Wendel 2012-04-26T19:40:16-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

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I was only five years old when my cousin Ben was born. I do not remember exactly how I was told that he has Down Syndrome or what that really meant. I think my mom explained that “things are just going to be harder for Ben,” or something to that effect. All I knew was that he was that he was another cousin for me to play with. I didn’t realize at the time that watching him grow up would shape my life profoundly.

Anyone touched by an individual with a disability probably knows the struggle of getting a child the education and the services that they need. It is often up to the parents to take on this fight, for better or for worse. The battle on Ben’s behalf began over two decades ago in a small Indiana town where children “like him” were not included and were not expected to succeed. Year after year, my aunt and uncle refused to succumb to the low expectations and never-ending hoops to jump through. Some years were better than others depending on the teacher, the school, the administrator, etc. Through it all, Ben thrived. Despite what everyone had told my aunt and uncle, he was talking, reading, dancing, and just loving life. They pushed him – hard – and he rose to every challenge.

When Ben made it to high school, the obstacles continued. New frustrations with the administration piled up and my aunt and uncle were close to pulling Ben out of school all together. What was the point when he wasn’t learning anything and no one was accepting him?

And then…there was football. Ben loves sports and wanted to be on the football team. He, along with his parents, convinced the coach to let him be a manager. Then, as if in a Hollywood screenplay, life changed. The football players got to know Ben, and then they quickly embraced him as their own. In a town where Friday Night Football is king, the football team’s new friend Ben earned school-wide fame. He had more friends than he ever imagined. He walked the halls of high school with pride. His family breathed a sigh of relief as they realized he would finish school on a good note.

The story doesn’t stop there. He was nominated and then crowned homecoming King. He went to prom. At the last home football game – deemed “senior night” – he was going to walk the field with his parents like the other senior players. I drove from Nashville to be there. My parents drove from Chicago. We all wanted to be there to celebrate this triumph. The coach had another surprise for all of us. He talked with the other coach and arranged for Ben to actually PLAY and score a touchdown! You can imagine the tears that were flowing in our section of the stands! It was amazing. Even more amazing was that after the game, a couple came up to my aunt and uncle with their young child with Down Syndrome. Through tears, they shared how seeing Ben shine that night gave them new hope, faith, and encouragement about the future of their little one.

At the end of his senior year, Ben proudly walked across the stage of his graduation ceremony to a standing ovation. He brought the gymnasium to their feet and his entire family to tears. God is good.

Those special high school moments were certainly inspirational, but there are so many other “small” moments that transform the people around Ben. The way he takes over the dance floor at every wedding he attends; the toasts that he gives and the cards that he writes for every birthday, anniversary, or celebration; his dedicated service as an alter person during mass at his church. These are the moments that leave us all in awe, thankful for the way God created Ben and is using him. He shattered all expectations.

As my mom said all of those years ago, “things are just going to be harder for Ben.” That may be true, but the ultimate truth is that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). There is no question that we have seen the glory and power of Christ a little more clearly through His hand in Ben’s life.

Kelly Wendel holds a Master’s degree in Special Education and works with Next Steps at Vanderbilt University, a post-secondary education program for individuals with intellectual disabilities.

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