What Will You Be When You Grow Up?

Last updated on: April 14, 2011 at 12:14 pm by Amy Julia Becker

What Will You Be When You Grow Up? 2011-04-14T12:14:08-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

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It’s a question I remember from my childhood. And I remember my answers–everything from a banker to a teacher to a farmer to a writer. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make money. I wanted to do the things I liked doing. But it’s a question I sometimes hesitate to even think about in relation to Penny. She’s five. And she has Down syndrome. And sometimes I am afraid that she won’t be able to realize her dreams. Sometimes I worry that growing up will be a disappointment for her.

But yesterday, when Penny and William and I were driving around doing errands together, I found myself asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“When I grow up, I will be Superman!” William exclaimed.

“When I grow up, I’ll be a Super Star,” Penny responded.

They went back and forth: A Super Apple, a Super Woman. First dressed in red, then yellow, green, purple. But always able to fly.

At dinner that night, I brought it up again, and Penny announced, “When I grow up, I will be a movie star!”Now that I think about it, Penny often tells me things she will do when she grows up. “When I’m six, I’ll go to kindergarten… I’ll have sleepovers… I’ll be able to do buttons.” Other times, “When I’m seventeen, I’ll be able to pick Marilee up all by myself…” “When I get big, I will drive a car…”

The professional aspirations were easy enough. Penny has about as much chance of being a Super Star as William does becoming Superman. But when it comes to the more practical hopes and dreams, there’s a part of me that worries. What if she can’t ever drive a car? What if she gets her heart set on becoming a doctor? How can I encourage her to dream without setting her up for disappointment?

Of course my hesitation betrays my own fears and my own biases. Penny’s dreams are no different than William’s or Marilee’s, unless I refuse to honor them in the same way. I want to encourage all of our children to dream of the future in colorful terms, even though not everything they dream will come true. I want to teach them that disappointment is no reason to avoid desire. I want to teach them to believe in their abilities while accepting their own limitations.

And for now, I want them all–Penny as much as William or Marilee–to believe that one day they will fly.

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