Bikes and Brownies

Last updated on: April 5, 2011 at 9:01 am by Amy Julia Becker

Bikes and Brownies 2011-04-05T09:01:41-04:00 Amy Julia Becker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Every so often I happen upon a blog of someone who epitomizes stay-at-home-mom. She bakes fresh bread. She thinks of creative art projects with her children. She decorates her home, with her children, for every holiday. She definitely has a garden with both flowers and vegetables. And a compost bin.

Yeah, so, that’s not me (see “I Failed as a Gardener” for proof). But every so often I aim for those types of interactions with my children.

Take last Wednesday, for instance. We had friends coming over for dinner, so I decided Penny and William and I would make brownies. It started off well. We measured and stirred and poured. We talked about why things melt as the chocolate disappeared into the warm butter. We watched all the ingredients become dark brown as we mixed them together. And we had a great time licking the bowl:

We popped those brownies in the oven and then, with Marilee asleep upstairs and the sun beaming outside, we headed to the lawn. And then to the bikes. I haven’t been outside with our kids on bikes in months. And back then, it was an exercise in insanity for everyone. Neither of them could pedal. Neither could steer. Peter and I had a theoretical idea that kids enjoy riding bikes even though our kids (and we) clearly didn’t enjoy sitting still on the pavement one bit. But over the course of the past few months of winter, they’ve grown up.

William couldn’t quite get his feet to pedal and his hands to steer at the same time, but he had a fun time trying. With my hand on the steering contraption he moved forward and enjoyed it. Then came Penny. She climbed on. And she pedaled. And she steered. And she could DO it! I remembered back to reading a book a few months after Penny was born. It had statistics about kids with Down syndrome, and it informed me that kids with Downs ride a two-wheeler on their own, on average, at age nine. Back then, the news left me despondent. In the course of the five years since then, however, I’ve learned to let go of milestones and timelines and let Penny be who she will be. In letting go of expectations, it opened me up to the possibility of delight.

Of course, this little bike has firm training wheels, and although Penny’s mastered pedaling and steering, she hasn’t quite figured out the brakes yet (as evidenced a few days later when her first trip down a hill ended up in a crash onto a neighbor’s lawn and another unforgettable moment when, after we dried her tears, she said, “I want to try again”). Maybe it will take four more years before she’s riding a two-wheeler. That’s not the point. The point is, Penny surprised me by her ability. And we all celebrated.

From there we visited my grandmother who lives next door. We picked some daffodils. And I was feeling like one of those highly accomplished moms I mentioned earlier. Until we walked in the door to a rather unfortunate scent:

Not just slightly burned. Inedible. Hard as a brick.

I had to laugh. And I had to remind myself of something I’ve learned before. I will never be a perfect mother. I’ll never be able to juggle cooking and cleaning and playing with kids and writing and all the rest. And for this, I am grateful. Because somehow, letting go of the need to do everything right opens me up to the possibility of the unexpected joy of watching my daughter learn to ride a bike.

As it turned out, the people who came over for dinner brought their own homemade chocolate cookies. We didn’t need the brownies after all.

Disability

Uncategorized

family

Previous Post

April 4, 2011

Why Patheos?

Next Post

April 6, 2011 Half the Church Might Need Another Quarter... (Plus, Book Giveaway...)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Articles Books Disability Down Syndrome Faith family Perfectly Human Uncategorized

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 September 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz