My Afternoon as a Hobby Lobby Sidewalk Counselor

Last updated on: August 6, 2014 at 8:56 am by Aliza Worthington

My Afternoon as a Hobby Lobby Sidewalk Counselor 2014-08-06T08:56:08-05:00 Aliza Worthington

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My Sidewalk Counseling Operation has doubled in size!!!

Back in June, I was inspired by a Supreme Court decision to take up Sidewalk “Counseling.” Since SCOTUS declared the buffer zone around Massachusetts’ health clinics unconstitutional, I decided it was time for me to provide those seeking treatments to which I object with counseling of my own. Here, in my post, “My Morning as a Viagra Sidewalk Counselor” I explain why this made perfect sense to me. Eleanor McCullen, lead plaintiff in that Supreme Court case, had been vindicated. Because she prevailed, she has her country back. “It’s America. I should be able to walk and talk gently, lovingly, anywhere with anybody.”

ME, TOO!!! Now I can walk and talk lovingly anywhere with anybody, too!!! I have to be honest, I didn’t realize how good it felt to attempt to veer people away from their own personal decisions until I became a sidewalk counselor myself. When the Supreme Court subsequently decided that Hobby Lobby was a “closely held” private company, and thereby could choose to not include treatments to which they have religious objections (however poorly reasoned those objections might be) in the health insurance plans they offered to employees, I said, “Eureka!” Among other things.

Not coincidentally, the treatments and medications to which Hobby Lobby object are the VERY SAME THINGS against which Eleanor McCullen and her Sidewalk-Counseling-Hare-Krishna-Kumbaya-All-You-Need-Is-Love-and-Salvation Posse object!!! Things that they (in some cases, mistakenly) believe lead to abortion!!! Forget that our fallen female bodies naturally abort “babies” all the time in the form of miscarriages. It’s when women actually have a SAY in whether a blastula survives that we must fetch Mrs. McCullen (and now, the Green Family of Hobby Lobby fame) the smelling salts so that they may lovingly and gently show us the error of our ways. Because they. know. better.

Anywho, buoyed from my sidewalk counseling triumph regarding turning people away from the evils of Viagra, I decided to turn my loving and gentle gaze to another group of people who needed to be saved from their own behavior. Hobby Lobby Shoppers.

That’s right, friends. My sister-in-law, Vivian, joined me for an afternoon of making Hobby Lobby shoppers aware of their OPTIONS when it comes to craft supplies. I have some WONDERFUL friends who did something similar at a Grand Opening of the Burbank Hobby Lobby. Thanks to them, I was well-prepared with maps to other nearby craft stores, and even gift cards to said stores should the shopper be persuaded by our loving and gentle counsel to go elsewhere. Because OPTIONS. Craft options, dontchyaknow.

(Emily Bock returns as videographer and editor. Thank you, thank you, thank you.)

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