Anticipatory Conflict

Last updated on: December 4, 2013 at 3:25 am by Terry Drew Karanen

Anticipatory Conflict 2013-12-01T15:04:23-07:00 Terry Drew Karanen

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As a licensed social worker in clinical practice I’m familiar with the term “anticipatory grief.” As a son who was his father’s caregiver for nearly three years, including two years of hospice care, I can appreciate this on a very personal level. Week after week of wondering when my father was going to make his transition took its toll on me physically and emotionally.

Yet none of my worry, concern and anticipation of his passing helped me one bit in dealing with the call that confirmed his death. Just because worry is considered to be socially acceptable or even expected in some circles doesn’t mean it has to be so. Worry doesn’t do anyone much good; it only exacerbates the problem. From a metaphysical standpoint this makes perfect sense: What we focus on increases. Fretting produces more reasons about which to worry. We start “what if-ing” and then doubt, sleepless nights and anxiety descend upon us with all the subtlety of an avalanche.

I recently encountered someone who is planning for trouble for which the person has no basis to expect, other than their own fear. Reports, charts and explanations are all in place not if, but when, “someone” asks them for an accounting. In realizing the similarity of this to anticipatory grief I am calling it “anticipatory conflict.” I’ve no idea whether I’ve coined a new term or not, but I believe the situation bears exploration.

Being prepared for every eventuality can make us appear efficient, professional and wise stewards of our charge. Conversely it could also indicate the presence of doubt in our own abilities, mistrust that God is ever-available, or doubt in the abundance of the universe which is ours to accept. It might also indicate our own underlying suspicion or prejudice of a person whom we feel responsible to supervise.

How better it would be if, instead of planning for disaster, we could be so assured of ourselves and others that we are at peace with our decisions. Then, if the situation does at some point comes up that we must explain our actions or the activities of others to this “expected inquisitor” we can rest in assurance that we do not have to immediately respond. Anyone in authority knows that we have the option with any query to take time to examine the facts. Ask yourself this week, For what anticipated conflict am I preparing…and why?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Previous Post

December 2, 2013

Securing the Foundation of Life - The Final Commandments

Next Post

December 11, 2013 Celebrating the Past

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Breath meditation Finding peace Spiritual Living Spirituality Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz