Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Pangea Blog

Home

Home
Progressive Christian
The Reconciliation of LGBTQ vs. Chick Fil A – why I stayed silent and the beauty of hospitality

The Reconciliation of LGBTQ vs. Chick Fil A – why I stayed silent and the beauty of hospitality

Last updated on: January 30, 2014 at 5:10 pm by Kurt Willems

The Reconciliation of LGBTQ vs. Chick Fil A – why I stayed silent and the beauty of hospitality 2014-01-30T17:10:19-08:00 Kurt Willems

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It’s no secret that I have advocated that the church stay out of marriage (in regards to imposing a “Christianized” version on the government). There should be no qualms about allowing people who love each other to marry one another under the law, especially when a marriage is ratified by a pagan state. This has no effect on Christians of either persuasion – those that are progressive (who affirm LGBTQ covenantal unions as blessed by God, based on their reading of the New Testament) and traditionalists (those who, at their best, love LGBTQ folks but may not affirm sexual relationships for biblical reasons) – as marriage should be a sacred act, primarily, and not a legislative one. No matter one’s theology, the culture war is quite unnecessary.

In other words, no one is stepping into a conservative Christian church and forcing the ministers to perform marriages that go against their conscience. This is about hospitality and not imposing a version of the Christian will on people who differ.

In the past, I’ve suggested that perhaps a solid solution to this issue would be “civil unions for all” and allowing those civil unions to be ratified by religious congregations as each tradition sees fit. Given that my solution isn’t where we find ourselves at the moment, I hope more states will move toward marriage equality (for the sake of my neighbors, not because I’m passionate about being invested in U.S. politics). Unfortunately, this debate continues to spark fires that I see as unnecessary, at least as one who is postured within the Christian tradition. We ought to bear with one another and love one another, even when we disagree.

Chick Fil A Drama and My Silence

Last year, when all of the drama around Chick-fil-A was being publicized, I stayed silent. No longer, as blogger (etc.), is my first impulse to say my piece about every little online quibble that emerges. I’m finding it a good practice to keep my keystrokes silent. I don’t always have to get in my virtual jab.

At the time, I was embarrassed to see conservative Christian people (not)representing Jesus through blatant childish put-downs and ridiculous campaigns for a company that they identified as “Christian.” Free speech is fine, but we have to understand that the LGBTQ community has endured their fair share of oppression and hatred. All that I saw coming from segments of the “Christian right” was more of the same – an attitude of superiority and entitlement.

I do not speak for the gay community, so I will simply say that I was saddened to see what I perceived as hatred (at times) on the other end of the spectrum (including straight advocates). Even so, my sympathies lie with the gay community in this situation as they are the ones who have been forced into the margins for generations. All of that to say, I was humiliated by the public face of Christianity during those few weeks, and I think that there are parts of the opposite opinion that could have been expressed with greater generosity. Both sides lived a narrative of “culture war,” and I’m tired of living in that story.

The Dehumanizing Power of the Web

The power of the Internet is a wonderful thing at times. However, at other times that power is the very source that causes further segmentation. We can put an web meme up, and now our holy opinion has been stated for the world to see. And then, the other persuasion can put up their political cartoon. This back-and-forth vitriol hardly leads to productive dialogue. That isn’t to say that there’s never a moment to name convictions or to speak the truth in love. But, there are times in which we dehumanize the “other side” of the spectrum by using internet labels rather than inviting them over for dinner to learn from them (whoever “them” may be). As a result, much of what I see during online controversies, like the LGBTQ vs. Chick Fil A issue, tends to look more like dehumanization (which is evil) than humanization (which is the way of Jesus – the fully Human One).

When the controversy broke, I didn’t find value in violent speech and detached conversation (yelling). I still don’t. Therefore, I stayed silent on the web.

Until now. Why? Because the sort of thing that should drive difficult questions within a pluralistic culture actually happend and is now public knowledge. Although I missed it when it came out about a year ago, a hopeful article inspired me today. While certain Christians were acting out of a posture of pride and anger, and while certain segments of the LGBTQ community were doing their fair share of protesting, Dan Cathy (Chick Fil A) and activist Shane Windmeyer (Campus Pride) were learning to care for each other! These sorts of stories of healing, hospitality, and reconciliation are only possible when we put a human face on the person we’ve objectified as the “other” or “enemy.” Jesus’ words come to mind: “Love your enemies…”

According to Shane Windmeyer:

On Aug. 10, 2012, in the heat of the controversy, I got a surprise call from Dan Cathy. He had gotten my cell phone number from a mutual business contact serving campus groups. I took the call with great caution. He was going to tear me apart, right? Give me a piece of his mind? Turn his lawyers on me?

The first call lasted over an hour, and the private conversation led to more calls the next week and the week after….

His questions and a series of deeper conversations ultimately led to a number of in-person meetings with Dan and representatives from Chick-fil-A. He had never before had such dialogue with any member of the LGBT community. It was awkward at times but always genuine and kind.

Remarkable! Secretly, Dan Cathy and Shane Windmeyer were hanging out during all of the drama. Not compromising their values, but exemplifying a shared value – hospitality.

The Reconciling Power of Hospitality

The internet continues to create spaces of hospitality (I’ve made many friendships through blogging, Twitter, and Facebook – for instance), but also makes it much easier to talk about someone in a way that one would never do if sitting over coffee (at least, for the most part). As this story of reconciliation demonstrates, much can be accomplished when two human people begin a very human relationship. No longer are we yelling at a screen (if we so choose) but we are yelling at a person. Seeing the face of your enemy changes things. At times, this is enough for an enemy to become an acquaintance and even a friend. This was true for Cathy and Windmeyer:

Through all this, Dan and I shared respectful, enduring communication and built trust. His demeanor has always been one of kindness and openness. Even when I continued to directly question his public actions and the funding decisions, Dan embraced the opportunity to have dialogue and hear my perspective. He and I were committed to a better understanding of one another. Our mutual hope was to find common ground if possible, and to build respect no matter what. We learned about each other as people with opposing views, not as opposing people [empahsis mine].

Clearly Cathy and Windmeyer share a different vision of sexual morality, but they serve as examples of why that doesn’t trump friendship and common human experiences! People of different persuasions have something to learn from each other – something that is difficult to learn behind the malicious claims and insults of the computer screen. We need only to hear how Windmeyer ends his excellent article to catch a better vision for dealing with culturally sensitive issues:

…after discussions with Dan and Chick-fil-A, Campus Pride suspended our campaign. Like Dan, we had faith. It took time to be proven publicly.

Now it is all about the future, one defined, let’s hope, by continued mutual respect. I will not change my views, and Dan will likely not change his, but we can continue to listen, learn and appreciate “the blessing of growth” that happens when we know each other better. I hope that our nation’s political leaders and campus leaders might do the same.

In the end, it is not about eating (or eating a certain chicken sandwich). It is about sitting down at a table together and sharing our views as human beings, engaged in real, respectful, civil dialogue. Dan would probably call this act the biblical definition of hospitality. I would call it human decency. So long as we are all at the same table and talking, does it matter what we call it or what we eat?

Sitting at the Table Together

What would it look like for Christians of all persuasions to learn from each other and from the good folks in the LGBTQ community? Every situation will be different. But, I have a feeling that a meal might help. Or perhaps, what might help is the assumption behind the meal: you and I belong together, not divided.

The beauty of hospitality is that it doesn’t mean compromising one’s beliefs (in every case), but it means learning to love and respect people no matter their beliefs. This is foundational for the Christian life. Jesus, who taught us to “love our enemies” also invites us to uphold two great commandments: love for God and love for neighbor. Perhaps with this posture, we will move beyond web controversy and begin to see authentic human image-bearers, all for whom Christ died.

Culture

Previous Post

January 28, 2014

A Liturgical-Anabaptist Worship Gathering: our "worship script" from last sunday

Next Post

February 4, 2014 Free eBook: Evolution & Scripture are NOT Mutually Exclusive - Ham & Nye are both wrong

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category (Series) All Out War-Spiritual Warfare (Series) Church Plant Journal (Series) Dear Reader... (Series) Earthquakes...Signs of the Times? (Series) Entering the... Conversation (Series) Evangelical Culture Myths (Series) Everything is Meaningless [Pete Enns] (Series) Evolving Evangelicalism (Series) Hell Yes. Hell No! Who Cares? (Series) Hidden Worldviews (Series) If Evolution is Right, what about Adam? (Series) in less than 300 words (Series) Jesus and Nationalism (Series) Liberating Women for Ministry? (Series) Life-Changing Books (Series) Markers of Church Plant Movement (Series) Nonviolence 101 (Series) Philemon - Reconciliation (Series) Quote to Ponder (Series) Red Letter Dialogues (Series) Resource of the Week (SERIES) Revelation Sermons (Series) Share Something Sundays (Series) Simplicity in the Burbs: $2 a day (Series) The Binding of God [Open Theism] (Series) The Creed: Anabaptist Reflections (Series) Values for Church Leadership (Series) Video to Ponder Anabaptism Animal Advocacy Books Church Ministry Church Planting Community Culture Eschatology Eucharist Evangelical Reject Evolution Fundamentalism Greek Greg Boyd Guest Contributors Hell Holy Spirit Israel/Palestine Kingdom of God Lent Missional N. T. Wright Nationalism New Creation Nonviolence Open Mic Open Theism Parenting Passover Paul Philemon Podcast Politics Restorative Justice Revelation (the book of) Rob Bell Ron Martoia Sermon Shane Claiborne Social Justice Speaking Engagement Spiritual Warfare Spirituality Temple Theology Tim Geddert Tribulation Uncategorized universalism Video Blog Women in Ministry Worship Music Youth Ministry

Select a Month August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 October 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 December 2016 October 2016 August 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was Paul's mentor mentioned in his letters to Timothy?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Lois Onesimus Silas Phoebe

Support this
Column