{"id":470,"date":"2023-10-12T21:50:16","date_gmt":"2023-10-13T01:50:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theleadershipwell\/?p=470"},"modified":"2023-10-12T21:50:16","modified_gmt":"2023-10-13T01:50:16","slug":"all-the-feels-acknowledging-understanding-and-honoring-our-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theleadershipwell\/2023\/10\/all-the-feels-acknowledging-understanding-and-honoring-our-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"All the Feels: Acknowledging, Understanding and Honoring Our Emotions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Many of us can attest to dealing with someone with out-of-control emotions.\u00a0 Maybe it is the boss or manager who appears to become easily angered.\u00a0 They yell at their employees, and it seems no amount of work output is ever good enough for them.\u00a0 Or perhaps you have had to encounter the testy two-year old who throws a tantrum when they do not get their way.\u00a0 Or it could be the growing pains of the teenager who appears upset every time anyone talks to them.\u00a0 Or worst yet, it could be the person we see in the mirror.\u00a0 Whether it is the frustration from sitting in traffic to being on the receiving end of an angry boss, our emotions can get the best of us.<\/p>\n

Emotion: Anger.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Emotions are part of our human design.\u00a0 They are part of what makes us, us.\u00a0 To deny or overlook them is to deny or overlook a part of ourselves.\u00a0 While it is unhealthy to deny or overlook this part of ourselves, we do have a responsibility to ourselves as it relates to our emotions.\u00a0 Our goal should be to acknowledge them, gain understanding of them, and learn to effectively manage them.\u00a0 There is helpful information to be gleaned from them if we are open to learning from them.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut feelings can\u2019t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.\u201d ~ Anne Frank<\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What are Emotions?<\/h3>\n According to the American Psychological Association<\/a>, \u201cEmotions are conscious mental reactions (such as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feelings usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body\u201d.<\/p>\n Mixed Emotions.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nTypes of Emotions<\/h3>\n**** The number of emotions humans experience is a well-debated topic.\u00a0 There is varying scholarship as to the exact number.\u00a0 The original list of emotions was published in 1972 by psychologist, Paul Eckman<\/a>.\u00a0 They are happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger.\u00a0 In 1999, he later expanded the list to include: pride, shame, embarrassment, excitement, contempt, and amusement.\u00a0 To further the understanding of emotions, psychologist Robert Plutchik developed the \u201cwheel of emotions\u201d.\u00a0 Plutchik believes emotions can be combined to form different feelings.<\/p>\n There are three key elements of emotions:<\/h4>\n\nSubjective experience: everyone experiences emotions differently.<\/li>\nPhysiological response: the physical response to the emotion. (Example: the feeling of butterflies in the stomach in reaction to nervousness.)<\/li>\nBehavioral response: the actual expression of the emotion. (Example: throwing an object when one experiences anger.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Variety of Emotions.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nDifference Between Emotions and Feelings<\/h3>\n******* ** *******When we discuss emotions and feelings, we often treat them as if they are one in the same.\u00a0 However, they are two different categories.\u00a0 According to Psychology Today, \u201cEmotions originate as sensations in the body.\u00a0 Feelings are influenced by our emotions but are generated from our mental thoughts\u201d.\u00a0 It goes on to say, \u201cEmotions are the raw data, a reaction to the present reality, whereas feelings can be diluted by stories we\u2019ve created in our head based on events of the past or fears of the future \u2013 not necessarily the truth of the situation\u201d.\u00a0 We must be careful not to believe what we perceive as the truth based on our feelings.\u00a0 Instead, we need to investigate the actual emotion to get to the source of it.\u00a0 As we do, we can see our feelings for what they are and not give too much power to them considering the truth from our emotions.<\/p>\n**** "\n******* ** *******\u201cI don\u2019t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0~ Oscar Wilde<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n How Does Our Emotions Affect Our Health?<\/h3>\n Unidentified or unresolved emotions can lead to a variety of health issues depending on the emotion and intensity experienced.\u00a0 According to The Family Doctor<\/a>, poor emotional health can lead to a weakened immune system.\u00a0 Other emotions and their physical ailments may be:<\/p>\n \nDue to high stress, one may experience headaches, insomnia, and high blood pressure.<\/li>\nDue to unresolved anger, one may experience high stress levels leading to high blood pressure and chest pains, even heart attacks and strokes.<\/li>\nDue to anxiety, one may experience stomach and digestive problems and tight muscles.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n********* ** According to BetterUp, \u201cPeople with unacknowledged emotions and traumas can develop substance abuse disorders, anxiety, and depression, among other mental health challenges.\u00a0 They may also express their emotions in unhealthy ways, hurting the people around them\u201d.<\/p>\n ** *********If we do not check in with ourselves and work to identify and understand our emotions, we are setting ourselves up for health problems in the long run.\u00a0 Additionally, we can cause problems at home with our families and on our jobs with our employees and colleagues.<\/p>\n A Case of Raw Emotions<\/h3>\n*********** ** The biblical text is full of stories regarding people\u2019s experiences featuring their emotions. \u00a0Emotions and feelings are not anything new. \u00a0One biblical story which shows the gamut of human emotions can be found within the book of John.\u00a0 In the book we find the story of Jesus arriving following the death of Lazarus.\u00a0 We know Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha dearly.<\/p>\n ** ***********As he got closer to their home, Martha upon hearing he is coming, travels to meet him.\u00a0 When she arrives, she is upset at the timing of Jesus\u2019 arrival.\u00a0 She basically blames him stating if he had been there her brother would not have died.\u00a0 When she calls for Mary to come to see Jesus, Mary has the same response.\u00a0 However, her response was a little different.\u00a0 Whereas Martha confronted Jesus directly, Mary fell at his feet and said if he had been here, her brother would not have died.\u00a0 Additionally, Mary wept.\u00a0 Seeing this and the Jews weeping, upset Jesus and he began to weep.<\/p>\n " When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home.\u00a0<\/span>Martha said to Jesus, \u201cLord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.\u201d (John 11: 20-21 NRSV<\/a>)<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The event of the death of Lazarus caused a range of emotions to arise within everyone.\u00a0 The grief, anger, and frustration at the death of Lazarus caused Martha to lash out.\u00a0 She confronted Jesus directly.\u00a0 Yet, the devastation of Lazarus\u2019 death caused Mary to grieve, to weep and in her brokenness fall at Jesus\u2019 feet.\u00a0 Her disappointment and hurt were palpable.\u00a0 Even Jesus, knowing how all things will work out, still felt the emotions that came because of his death.\u00a0 Seeing the disappointment and heartbreak in Mary triggered Jesus to weep also. Lazarus\u2019 death and Jesus\u2019 late arrival triggered some powerful emotions within everyone involved.\u00a0 The emotions drove them to react out of their feelings focused on what happened rather than what was possible through Jesus.<\/p>\n " When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved.\u00a0<\/span>He said, \u201cWhere have you laid him?\u201d They said to him, \u201cLord, come and see.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>Jesus began to weep. (John 11:33-35 NRSV<\/a>)<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n How to Take Control of Our Emotions<\/h3>\n************* ** Emotional wellness is an important part of our total wellness.\u00a0 Emotions in and of themselves are not bad.\u00a0 However, without proper emotional wellness, it can lead to mental and physical health challenges.\u00a0 Unchecked it can lead to issues within our personal and professional lives.\u00a0 Yet, we do not have to allow our emotions to get the best of us.\u00a0 How can we take control of our emotions?<\/p>\n ** \nIdentify and acknowledge the emotion being experienced.<\/strong> There is a saying that states we cannot conquer what we will not confront. The first step towards confronting our emotions is to acknowledge it.<\/li>\nGet to the root.<\/strong> Identify what is causing this emotion.\u00a0 What is the event or what is the action that triggered the emotion?\u00a0 Why did it trigger you in the way it did?\u00a0 Is it based on a past experience or a fear of a potential future outcome?<\/li>\nIdentify the story we are telling ourselves about the situation.<\/strong> Are we dealing with facts or a created story?<\/li>\nBreathe. Pray.<\/strong> Before reacting to the event or the trigger, take a pause.\u00a0 Take a breath and pray.\u00a0 Pray for clarity about the situation or event and your response.<\/li>\nTell a new story.<\/strong> Rather than depend on the story we have told ourselves, it is time to tell a new story.\u00a0 Begin to speak a scripture or affirmation to confront the trigger of the emotion.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n ** ** Seeking help.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nWhen to Seek Help<\/h3>\n ** Some emotions and feelings may be hard to work through on our own.\u00a0 When we find ourselves in this place, we may need to contact a trained professional \u2013 medical doctor, psychologist, or therapist \u2013 to help us identify and work through our emotions.\u00a0 Signs to look for:<\/p>\n ** \nIsolating yourself<\/li>\nSleeping too much or too little<\/li>\nFeelings of irritability, guilt, hopelessness, or worthlessness<\/li>\nIncreased substance abuse<\/li>\nIncreased interpersonal conflicts<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n ** May we remember, emotions are a part of every person\u2019s life.\u00a0 We may not know what the trigger for different people may be.\u00a0 May we choose to be more intentional with kindness and understanding towards others.\u00a0 May we also learn to be kind to ourselves and learn how to properly deal with our emotions.<\/p>\n ** \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ** *************Many of us can attest to dealing with someone with out-of-control emotions.\u00a0 Maybe it is the boss or manager who appears to become easily angered.\u00a0 They yell at their employees, and it seems no amount of work output is ever good enough for them.\u00a0 Or perhaps you have had to encounter the testy two-year old […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5270,"featured_media":485,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nAcknowledging, Understanding and Honoring Our Emotions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Whether it is the frustration from sitting in traffic to being on the receiving end of an angry boss, our emotions can get the best of us.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theleadershipwell\/2023\/10\/all-the-feels-acknowledging-understanding-and-honoring-our-emotions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"All the Feels: Acknowledging, Understanding and Honoring Our Emotions\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Whether it is the frustration from sitting in traffic to being on the receiving end of an angry boss, our emotions can get the best of us.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theleadershipwell\/2023\/10\/all-the-feels-acknowledging-understanding-and-honoring-our-emotions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Leadership Well\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-10-13T01:50:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/2000\/2023\/10\/pexels-andrea-piacquadio-3807758.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"780\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"585\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rev. 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