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Progressive Christian

Last updated on: December 18, 2009 at 11:46 am by Cathleen Falsani

2009-12-18T11:46:00-07:00 Cathleen Falsani

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

GODSTUFF

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, TRY THE GIFT OF PRESENCE

The following is an actual exchange. Unedited — except to remove the profanity.

The setting: Mid-morning at a gift boutique in a suburban village.

The time: Nine days before Christmas.

The players: The pleasant female store clerk, a 40-something soccer mom-type customer and me (browsing for stocking stuffers).

Enter the frazzled soccer mom.

“Some people are unbeLIEVEable!” she says, to no one in particular.

“What happened?” the clerk says.

Enraged, soccer mom continues: “This woman out there said I parked too close to her car. I didn’t hear her at first so I said, ‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’ And she said, ‘YOU HEARD ME!’ “

“Oh my goodness . . . ” the clerk says, attempting a sympathetic tone before soccer mom interrupts.

“I was like, ‘I didn’t hear you, and it’s a wonder because you’re such a loud, fat [falalalalah, hum to yourself]!’ Some people!” she shouted, flinging her scarf over her shoulder and storming back out to the sidewalk.

Stunned silence.

“Bah humbug, huh?” the clerk says in a small voice, to me.

“Ho ho ho, right?” I say.

“This time of the year, some people just lose all of their . . . ” the clerk pauses, searching for the right word.

“Humanity?” I suggest.

“Yeah,” she says. “And sense.”

‘Tis the season to be surly. And overwhelmed, overextended and overcommitted.

I get it. We all have moments when we forget where and, more importantly, who we are. We are so busy thinking about the next 10 things we need to get done before tomorrow and how much everything is going to cost and what everyone is going to think that we lose sight of the here and now.

We’re thinking of what to make for Christmas dinner and what to buy for that difficult family member who never seems to be pleased with any of the gifts we’ve given in the past, and whether we’ll be able to make the Wii work on Christmas morning and whether it’s too late to order a cord of wood, and, and, and . . .

Stop. Please. Take a moment and take a breath.

Sure it’s trite, but try to remember the reason for the season. Even if that reason is, for you, not specifically to celebrate the birth of Jesus, it is about something bigger than you. It’s about being with the ones you love, about sharing quality time together and taking the time to feel the joy, love and peace that the holidays are supposed to inspire.

But in order for that to happen, you need to be present. And I don’t mean just physically.

The other day I was baking gingerbread cookies for my son’s class “winter party,” and found myself becoming increasingly agitated. As I was cutting the dough and trying to keep flour off of the floor, I was simultaneously making a mental list of all the things I needed to do before family and friends arrive from out of town for the holidays. The list got longer and longer, and I grew crabbier and crabbier.

When my son appeared at my elbow to see if he could help with the cookies, I almost snapped at him to get away.

I was making cookies, but I wasn’t there. In my mind I was slogging through the muddy, crowded streets of Scroogie Stresstown, trying to find a parking space.

And then I burned my hand snatching a tray of almost-burnt gingerbread from the oven.

So I stopped. I took a breath, walked into the living room and put on some Christmas music. I looked at my child and the tree we’d just decorated and pulled myself, kicking and screaming, back into the present.

Everything improved when I remembered where I was, what I was doing right then and why.

Among the stocking stuffers I bought the other day after the scary soccer mom went on her way to terrorize more holiday shoppers was a little book called, 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment by Barbara Ann Kipfer. It’s a small tome — about 4-inches-square — perfect for the heel of a Christmas stocking.

Actually, I ended up buying three copies: two for my closest girlfriends — both consummate multitaskers and, like me, slightly-frazzled soccer moms — and one for me. Inside there are 373 pages of small, practical suggestions and inspirational quotations about remaining in the here and now.

Here’s one of my favorites: “Feeling good is worth far more than looking good — and it makes you attractive in itself. So if you’re enjoying yourself in company, resist the temptation to check your appearance in the mirror. . . . The real you is the one looking out with vitality, not the one looking back with anxiety.” I’m going to try to remember as we make the rounds to holiday celebrations that it’s about presence and not about my hair.

Another stellar suggestion was a quote from Cervantes: “He who sings scares away his woes.” So this year, when there’s a chance to sing Christmas carols in church or at a party, I’m going to sing. Loud. Even if I’m off key.

And then there was this: “Respect for others, reliability, kindness and compassion are all key. Living in the moment does not mean acting impulsively, without thought of the future.” So being present might mean not taking that extra cup of spiked eggnog or overspending on a gift just because you KNOW they’ll love it.

Kipfer ends her 1,001 suggestions with this: “Our selves, our destinies, are being created constantly through our thoughts and actions. Attune yourself to the inherent creativity of your life. Let enlightenment be the finishing touch on your masterpiece.”

This Christmas, show up. Be there, and it’s sure to be a blessed one for you and the ones you love.

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