Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Diagonal Way

Home
General Christian
The Bento Box Rule of Life

The Bento Box Rule of Life

Last updated on: October 2, 2022 at 7:58 am by Anthony D Baker

The Bento Box Rule of Life 2022-10-02T07:58:54-05:00 Anthony D Baker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Lunch in a Bento Box. Photo by andrewarchy from Toronto, Canada. Found at Wikimedia Commons.

If you were to look through my journals over the last few years, you would see a pretty good little collection of diagrams, complete with quadrants and arrows. These are a part of my practice of spiritual growth and self-awareness. It’s a process my colleague Steven Tomlinson recommends for crafting a rule of life. A rule of life is a term from the monastic tradition for a practice of intentionality for a life of faith. Steven teaches a process he calls the “Bento Box,” referring to the divided plates that Japanese lunches often come in.

The idea is this: behaviors manifest beliefs, and beliefs undergird behaviors. So if I notice something that I’m doing that I’d rather not do, the first step is not, actually, to do something else. At least, if I want to integrate this observation with my faith, that’s not the first step. Instead, I need to take a moment for some excavation. Often I can do this on my own. Sometimes I need my wife’s help, or a friend’s help, or my priest’s or therapist’s help to get down through the crusty surface.

Contemplations in a Bento Box

So, for instance, I tend to eat mindlessly when I get anxious at home. I notice this, and wish I would stop. I don’t like what this does to my body or to my ability to be present with my family. I also don’t like the way it makes me negligent of my role in the ecological impact of food consumption.

I’d like to stop. But first: this habit has some information for me, and I don’t want to miss it.

If I stay with this manifested belief for a moment, it’s bound to lead me to something theologically rich. Let’s expand the inquiry:

Uh-oh. Look at what my habit has shown me. It turns out that I believe something I don’t want to believe. My body is teaching me what I believe, despite that fact that my mind would never, on its own, express this belief.

So what to do? Well, for me, the next step is generally to articulate to myself what is is that I wish I believed.

We’re almost done with our Bento Box now. See it? I can now connect the aspirational belief (what I would like to believe) with an aspirational behavior (what I would like to do).

Small Experiments

OK, but we’re not quite through. My recent post referred to the importance of tiny steps, ones that are within reach and that we can celebrate as we form them into habits. Just as I can’t change my beliefs by willing myself to change them, I can’t change my behavior by a heroic strength of will.

I need to let go of the big aspirational behavior, and reach for something small. A small experiment in doing something different. Maybe I put a little notecard on the pantry door that reminds me to stay in the moment. Maybe I give myself a little tap on the chest when I notice my hand reaching for the peanuts, so that I can reconnect with my body. Maybe in those moments I say a little prayer or recitation, like “Humans do not live by bread alone.” Or peanuts either, I suppose.

Whatever it is I try, I do it as step one toward a bodily manifestation of something I want to believe.

The Bento Box and the Diagonal Way

This is a practice my colleagues and I, with Steven’s guidance, talk through with students at our seminary. Having faith isn’t just a matter of the head, or even of the head and heart. Often it’s our bodies that reveal the deep secrets of our faith. It takes courage to sound these depths. Some of the great spiritual guides— Teresa of Avila maybe more than anyone—spent their lives noting the ways we can deceive ourselves by avoiding these well-guarded secret beliefs. They practiced and passed along real embodied wisdom for avoiding self-deception, for laying ourselves bare before God’s discerning spirit. The Bento Box Rule of Life is, for me, a tool within that tradition.

It’s become a part of my own practice in the diagonal way of holiness. Small steps into my embodied humanity that are also small ascents, I hope and believe, into the holiness of God.

Previous Post

September 26, 2022

All I Know of Holiness

Next Post

November 14, 2022 Naming the God of the Night Sky

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church Fathers Doctrines for Various Occasions Ecotheology Eschatology Liturgical Seasons Prayer Theology and Literature Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was Lydia's profession?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Cloth merchant Potter Weaver Farmer