Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
New Visions
Family, Parenting and Religion
The Fools Gold of a Misogynistic Narcissist, Josh Howerton

The Fools Gold of a Misogynistic Narcissist, Josh Howerton

Last updated on: May 8, 2024 at 5:59 pm by Karl J. Forehand

The Fools Gold of a Misogynistic Narcissist, Josh Howerton 2024-05-08T17:59:47-06:00 Karl J. Forehand

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The Fools Gold of a Misogynistic Narcissist, Josh Howerton

Recently, Josh Howerton, a mega-church pastor in Dallas, emerged from a marriage weekend to tell one of the most misguided jokes ever. It compared how important the wedding is to women to how important sex is to the man. This comparison is a fair point in its infancy, especially in the conservative evangelical circles where women are still demanded to fully submit to their husbands no matter how they feel or what their opinions are.

He commented, “On his wedding night, stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do.” He called it a “Gold Nugget!”

In his world, ideally, this woman would be a virgin offering herself up to him for the first time. She most likely would have organized her own wedding, dealt with all the stress of that day, and been totally exhausted when they got to the bedroom late that first night. Her job, in Josh’s eyes, is to miraculously transform into an experienced sex machine, give up her autonomy and put all of her wishes aside.

Those of us who have been married a little longer than this smooth-talking entertainer understand that what a woman wants most in a time like that is to be listened to and held and for her wishes to matter as much as his. He continues, “This will make him the happiest man alive!” I’ll just let you consider the shallowness of that statement for a while.

This is why we call purity culture r*ape culture because it suggests that men can’t control themselves, and that narrative is crafted into a strategy for a happy marriage. Submitting, then, is not mutual, and it’s not based on respect. It’s based on his animal instincts for procreation and pleasure. It ignores the dignity and autonomy of the woman and makes everything about his fragile ego.

My gut reaction is to tell these narcissists to spend some time understanding her and self-gratifying themselves until they understand consent. Marital r*pe and sexual terrorism are not your rights, and too many women have been assaulted in the pastor’s office, youth groups of churches, and bedrooms of fundamentalist complementarians.

These white male, hipster narcissists are not content with this domination of women in the bedroom. Across the U. S., they are trying to control religion, politics, and history. They can’t envision themselves like Jesus, who spoke truth to power. Instead, they demand reverence for themselves and for us to be captivated by every stupid, misogynistic, racist, homophobic thing they say. Remember, their ego is very fragile!

Women worldwide are rebelling against this pattern that should have died out long ago. I hear them screaming, “Listen to us, stop interrupting, and you need us for way more than just a place to park your penis!” And then, another suave entertainer steps up on stage and almost insists that the women in the crowd laugh at his stupid joke.

In every congregation of these men, there are hundreds of women who have endured abuse and are tired of it being blamed on them.

To the narcissistic pastors: It’s not funny. You don’t “need” sex, but you do need women, and you are about to find out how far you have drifted off course when they stop attending your churches, stroking your ego, or anything else for that matter. I hope you get better, but I haven’t seen any evidence encouraging me that you intend to improve. What good is it to gain the world and lose your soul (or destroy your partner’s soul)?

Be where you are, be who you are, be at peace.

Karl Forehand

Things I Don’t Understand

An Open Letter to Pastors for Consideration

Evolving From Religious Trauma

Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here.

Progressive Christian

Family, Parenting and Religion

Previous Post

April 8, 2024

Things I Don't Understand

Next Post

April 13, 2024 Colosseums and Cathedrals

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Addiction Advent adventure Alpha Male Animals Answers Attachment Attitude authenticity Authenticty Authentiicity Awareness being Bible Black Community BLM body awarenss book Books Bravery Bullying Bypassing Certainty Certianty Chamge change children Christianity Christmas Church Comfort community Compaasion Compassion Complementarian Complementarianism Conditioning Consciousness Contemplation Control Conversation Converstations Covid-19 Creation Darkness Death Debate deconstruction demons depression desert Devil Disciples discussion Divine dreams Easter Eclipse Empathy Essence evolution evolve faith fatherhood Fear fiction Flood Focus Focusing Focussing Future Genesis Goals God Gratitude grief growth Guns Hate healing Health Heart Hell Holiday Hypnosis ignorance Improvement infallible Inner Child Integrity Intuition Jesus Jezebel Journey King LGBTQ+ Love MAGA Marriage meditation Men Mercy Message metaphysical Mindfulness Misogyny Mourning Music Mystic mystical Narcissism Nationalism Nature New Year Novel Nutrition Organization other Pain Pandemic parenting Pastors Patriarchy Patriotism Personal Growth Plan Poet poets Police politics Power practice praise Prayer presence pro-life Problem Solving Progress prolife Prophet prophets Purity Culture Purpose Queer Questions Racism Rape Rapture reconstruction Recovery Religion Resolutions Restoration Resurrection Retribution Reviews Root Cause Sanctuary Satan SBC Scripture Seeking Self-Care Self-esteem Seminary Sex Shadow shame social justice social media solitude Spirits Spirituality stillness Story Survivor Thanksgiving Theologians Theology Tradition Trauma travel Trump Uncategorized Unchurching Universe Violence Vision Voice Volunteer Vulnerability War Women Word worship Writing

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "Come and see"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

John the Baptist Peter Paul Philip

Books by This Author Books by The Desert Sanctuary

See All Titles »