Feeling Small, Examining Beliefs, and Getting Bigger

Last updated on: October 19, 2026 at 11:20 am by Karl J. Forehand

Feeling Small, Examining Beliefs, and Getting Bigger 2026-10-19T11:20:00-06:00 Karl J. Forehand

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Feeling Small, Examining Beliefs, and Getting Bigger

One of my grandfathers, nicknamed “Little Joe,” lived in Lincoln County, Oklahoma, where he was known as the county’s bridge builder. I admired his work ethic and, as a young adult, had the honor of speaking at his funeral. As a child, visits to his farm felt like adventures. When I was old enough to help, he gave me tasks that taught me skills I later used throughout my life.

Many things can make us feel small, and that feeling isn’t always about physical stature. My grandpa Joe, who was about 5’2”, once told me he could easily slip under a barbed-wire fence because of his size. My other grandfather was also shorter than most, yet he found success in different ways. I believe he may have lived with PTSD after World War II, though people did not talk about such things then.

Until recently, few people in my family knew how to cope with feeling small. Like my grandfather with his wartime trauma, we simply avoided talking about what troubled us. I inherited both grandfathers’ names—and some of their generational trauma.

When I found healing later in life, I wanted to share what I had learned, especially with my three children, in hopes that they would pass it on to future generations. I could not explain the solution without telling my whole story. That story includes my life as an agnostic, which challenges my religious roots. I include it because I see those roots as part of the problem.

You may not agree with my conclusions, but I wrote this book for my children and for anyone who suspects that some of what we have learned is not only unhelpful but perhaps untrue. Healing often requires asking difficult questions that may change how we understand life, spirituality, and recovery.

I began writing this book a few years ago after realizing that none of my beliefs, practices, or approaches to life had value if they could not withstand honest scrutiny.

Just as I have learned to challenge myself, I invite you to live an examined life. We cannot outrun, hide from, or distort the trauma and life-limiting beliefs we inherit from others. Traditions shape us, so it is worth examining whether they are forming us into people we truly want to become.

I hope to release my new book, I Used to Be Small, on November 8, my 62nd birthday!

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