Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
New Visions
The Water We Swim In

The Water We Swim In

Last updated on: May 11, 2022 at 7:54 am by Karl J. Forehand

The Water We Swim In 2022-05-11T07:54:49-06:00 Karl J. Forehand

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Photo by Diego Sandoval : https://www.pexels.com/photo/school-of-gray-fish-under-blue-sky-4766972/

Often when I talk about issues I see within the church or organize religion, I get an immediate response especially from pastors and those heavily invested in the church. They respond to me like they have never heard of that in a church and that must be your unique, individual situation.

But, since my deconstruction, I have met hundreds of people that have the same experience that I did within the church and we’re never able to see it until they were outside of organized religion.

Why is this?

When someone challenged me to take a year off from organized religion, at first I couldn’t imagine it. Even though I was in the state of dismay, I immediately started attending another church because I wasn’t officially pastoring, so I figured that was enough. But before long, the pressures came back and I knew I had to completely disengage.

Not immediately, but after a short while being totally disengaged from the local church, I began to see it more clearly and the stories people told me outside the walls resonated with my story as well. So why couldn’t I see it inside?

I recently listened to a podcast mentioned below that helped with an analogy. It is the analogy of a fish standing on the edge of the water. The water represents the environment we are in. When we are in the water, we can’t necessarily see the water because it is too close.

Many of my friends that are ex-pastors now view organized religion as somewhat of an abusive environment. Some of them have deep regrets for the things they taught and how they taught them. But they also have found healing and a way forward outside of the westernized church.

The reason they were able to see more clearly is because once removed from the water they could view it more clearly. It wasn’t so close that they couldn’t see it.

Cindy Wang Brandt challenged Laura and I that if we could not take a year off, then we should question why we cannot. What are the ties that are keeping you in organized religion? Is it shame, or guilt, or are you addicted to the feel good aspects that has been designed to make you feel good? Is it too close for you to see?

I encourage you to take a step back and see more clearly.

Be where you are. Be who you are,

Karl Forehand

Developed from a Podcast called “Like a Fish, Standing on the Beach” by Rob Bell

Order Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authentic

Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart and The Tea Shop. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast. He is married to his wife Laura of 32 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply!

**Support us on Patreon * The Desert Sanctuary Website**

Previous Post

May 10, 2022

How Pastors Foster Abuse

Next Post

May 12, 2022 A Transition Plan for Fundamentalists

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Addiction Advent adventure Alpha Male Animals Answers Attachment Attitude authenticity Authenticty Authentiicity Awareness being Bible Black Community BLM body awarenss book Books Bravery Bullying Bypassing Certainty Certianty Chamge change children Christianity Christmas Church Comfort community Compaasion Compassion Complementarian Complementarianism Conditioning Consciousness Contemplation Control Conversation Converstations Covid-19 Creation Darkness Death Debate deconstruction demons depression desert Devil Disciples discussion Divine dreams Easter Eclipse Empathy Essence evolution evolve faith fatherhood Fear fiction Flood Focus Focusing Focussing Future Genesis Goals God Gratitude grief growth Guns Hate healing Health Heart Hell Holiday Hypnosis ignorance Improvement infallible Inner Child Integrity Intuition Jesus Jezebel Journey King LGBTQ+ Love MAGA Marriage meditation Men Mercy Message metaphysical Mindfulness Misogyny Mourning Music Mystic mystical Narcissism Nationalism Nature New Year Novel Nutrition Organization other Pain Pandemic parenting Pastors Patriarchy Patriotism Personal Growth Plan Poet poets Police politics Power practice praise Prayer presence pro-life Problem Solving Progress prolife Prophet prophets Purity Culture Purpose Queer Questions Racism Rape Rapture reconstruction Recovery Religion Resolutions Restoration Resurrection Retribution Reviews Root Cause Sanctuary Satan SBC Scripture Seeking Self-Care Self-esteem Seminary Sex Shadow shame social justice social media solitude Spirits Spirituality stillness Story Survivor Thanksgiving Theologians Theology Tradition Trauma travel Trump Uncategorized Unchurching Universe Violence Vision Voice Volunteer Vulnerability War Women Word worship Writing

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the first king of Israel?

Select your answer to see how you score.

David Saul Solomon Josiah

Books by This Author Books by The Desert Sanctuary

See All Titles »