Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
New Visions
“You’re Still Cool”

“You’re Still Cool”

Last updated on: July 24, 2021 at 6:20 pm by Karl J. Forehand

“You’re Still Cool” 2021-07-24T18:20:48-06:00 Karl J. Forehand

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My wife, Laura Forehand, is a very experienced teacher and competent in Whole Brain Teaching. It’s a classroom management methodology that is very effective at engaging the student and making the learning environment effective. She learned it one summer by reading the book by Chris Biffle called “Whole Brain Teaching for Challenging Kids. If you want more information, the best place to start might be the Facebook Page or the website. I always ask Laura if I can come to class with her and she declines – she thinks I’ll be disruptive.

My favorite thing about Whole Brain Teaching is the the technique, “Your still cool.”

The way I understand it, is that it is a response to someone giving the wrong answer. Instead of laughing or another student correcting them, they simply say, “You’re still cool.” I’ve heard them say it on a podcast when another adults gets tripped up or forgets what the were saying. It’s a simple little phrase to create what they call a “no fear classroom.”

The other day, on the assembly line, someone messed up and I taught them this phrase. First, I had to explain it, then when they messed up and said, “I’m sorry,” then I said “You’re still cool.” They smiled.

What society and religion has taught us to do is correct people so that we make sure we have the right answers. So a teacher might respond to a wrong answer with, “Could anyone give me the right answer.” That totally demolishes the kid that got it wrong and moves on the with the quest for the truth. Before we do that we need to stop and tend to the one that just got bludgeoned by their mistake or wrong answer.

The reason we don’t speak up at work or try things we don’t know how to do is because a part of us remembers what it’s like to be embarrassed and feel shame for getting the answer wrong. So, we spend a lot of our lives just trying not to fail and doing only what is expected of us.

If we are ever going to get better and heal some of our trauma, we have to stop shaming each other. It may give us some immediate results, but it also creates bigger problems down the road. Religion has always proposed a theology or right answer. It doesn’t overtly shame us, but the pressure to be right often pushes us into very small corners defending the things we already know.

Adventure requires us to risk not knowing the prescribed answers and giving up some of our comfort. When we are trying to learn, it’s inevitable that we will make mistakes, but we don’t want to shame ourselves back into the small world of defending what they already know. We want to encourage each other to venture on out into the wide world of discovery. Maybe we should try some whole-brain teaching vocabulary.

“I saw that you didn’t quite know what you were doing, but you’re still cool.”

“I know you are embarrassed because of what you said, but you’re still cool.”

“I tripped over that stripe on the floor before too, you’re still cool.”

I have never said “you’re still cool” to someone and they didn’t smile. In Junior High, I probably said “you’re an idiot.” As an adult, I might have busted in with the right answer. Often I argue with them to help them understand. None of those things are life-giving to someone that may be just trying to take a risk and is now hurt.

Let me just say to the reader, “You’re still cool. Keep risking being embarrassed to speak up. You’re still cool when you say something totally wrong. Keep trying, you won’t make as many mistakes next time; but, even if you do. You’re still cool.”

The game of life is not a war to eliminate those that are weaker or less informed than us. It’s an adventure we are on where we could all benefit by helping each other (especially when we stumble. I don’t want us to continue to struggle, but when we do, it’s helpful to encourage each other.

As the website states, “Errors have no effect upon PIC (Permanent Inner Coolness).” This is the goal.

We have a misconception that encouraging others might make them weak. Let me suggest the opposite. When we encourage, we put courage in them. Maybe if we nurtured our Permanent Internal Coolness, we would stop traumatizing each other and be even more able to affect change in ourselves and those around us.

Let me just say it again, “You’re still cool!”

Be where you are, Be who you are,

Karl Forehand

Order Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authentic

Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart and The Tea Shop. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast. He is married to his wife Laura of 32 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply!

**Support us on Patreon * The Desert Sanctuary Website**

Previous Post

July 11, 2021

Being with Jackson

Next Post

July 24, 2021 Being Brave

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Addiction Advent adventure Alpha Male Animals Answers Attachment Attitude authenticity Authenticty Authentiicity Awareness being Bible Black Community BLM body awarenss book Books Bravery Bullying Bypassing Certainty Certianty Chamge change children Christianity Christmas Church Comfort community Compaasion Compassion Complementarian Complementarianism Conditioning Consciousness Contemplation Control Conversation Converstations Covid-19 Creation Darkness Death Debate deconstruction demons depression desert Devil Disciples discussion Divine dreams Easter Eclipse Empathy Essence evolution evolve faith fatherhood Fear fiction Flood Focus Focusing Focussing Future Genesis Goals God Gratitude grief growth Guns Hate healing Health Heart Hell Holiday Hypnosis ignorance Improvement infallible Inner Child Integrity Intuition Jesus Jezebel Journey King LGBTQ+ Love MAGA Marriage meditation Men Mercy Message metaphysical Mindfulness Misogyny Mourning Music Mystic mystical Narcissism Nationalism Nature New Year Novel Nutrition Organization other Pain Pandemic parenting Pastors Patriarchy Patriotism Personal Growth Plan Poet poets Police politics Power practice praise Prayer presence pro-life Problem Solving Progress prolife Prophet prophets Purity Culture Purpose Queer Questions Racism Rape Rapture reconstruction Recovery Religion Resolutions Restoration Resurrection Retribution Reviews Root Cause Sanctuary Satan SBC Scripture Seeking Self-Care Self-esteem Seminary Sex Shadow shame social justice social media solitude Spirits Spirituality stillness Story Survivor Thanksgiving Theologians Theology Tradition Trauma travel Trump Uncategorized Unchurching Universe Violence Vision Voice Volunteer Vulnerability War Women Word worship Writing

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What were the first man and woman’s names in the Bible?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jacob and Rachel Joseph and Mary Adam and Eve Samson and Delilah

Books by This Author Books by The Desert Sanctuary

See All Titles »