Meyer & Shana: Blaming vs Growing Up

Last updated on: March 16, 2017 at 7:28 pm by Elizabeth Scalia

Meyer & Shana: Blaming vs Growing Up 2017-03-16T19:28:18+00:00 Elizabeth Scalia

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I label Dick Meyer as an “omni-spective.” He is an educated, urbane “DC-NY-corridor” secularist who defies the stereotype of snobbish insularity. He is introspective and also outwardly mega-observant; he doesn’t just peer at a surface, but looks into and around everything – hence my label.

Meyer recently left CBS News and headed to NPR and he has taken his Against the Grain column with him. Today’s piece is a good ‘un you will want to read. I have a few small quibbles with it – as usual – mostly because there is some debate as to whether we are actually in recession, (and that debate seems to fall along the usual lines, so maybe it is pointless to belabor) but the piece is not about recession; it’s about Americans blaming others for their difficulties, rather than simply hauling up their slacks and getting on with things:

The first cousin of blamesmanship is the syndrome that turns grown-ups into victims, the social demand that for every bad thing there must be a victim and a villain. The American litigation system is our great monument to these most unattractive ethical postures. Lost money in the market? Sue. Suffered an untimely death in the family? Sue. Couldn’t afford your credit card payments? Blame easy credit, declare bankruptcy and let someone else sue you.
[…]
Government ought to protect the little guy. Business ought not to prey on consumers. Well, yes, sure. But that, again, is only half the story.

Consumers ought not to carry debt they cannot afford. Borrowers are not exempt from being prudent or well-informed simply because loans are available. But such declarations are now considered illiberal, moralistic and unsophisticated. That means we are likely doomed to repeat our mistakes.

By a happy synchronicity, my friend Shana, a “fly-over country” home-schooling mother of 9, who doubtless would horrify Barack Obama with her provincialism, shared with me a letter-full-of-advice she’s written to a nephew who is leaving home to become an apprentice electrician. The whole letter is a gem – we should all have received a copy when we were 18 – and her common sense is worth 1000 social studies – but here are some excerpts:

Glad to hear you went South with Mick! I wish you every good while you’re there. I can’t be ‘your mom’ but I can give you the advice that a mom ought to give a son going out on his own for the first time.

Work hard & learn something, keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open, and think before you speak. The real measure of a man is not in how much he makes or what he has in terms of possessions or even in his so-called wit, but in controlling himself. Takes a long time and its harder work than you think, but it worth the effort to do it. Then you will be able to control the one thing most people fail miserably to control – your own self. Conquer yourself – your will, your ambitions, your mouth and your emotions and you can and will conquer anything and be a very respected and admired man. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, to admire in a bigmouth.

ALWAYS show up for work on time, and if you cannot because of error, illness or accident, make sure you call and explain. NEVER lie to the man who pays you or woman who loves you, and NEVER say you’ll do something and fail to live up to your word….

Pay your bills on time. Don’t spend more than you make. If you can’t meet a bill’s deadline, call & make arrangements with your debtors. Anything can be worked out with anyone if you go about it the right way…

Don’t get a credit card unless you are absolutely committed and self-disciplined enough to pay it off every month. Pay cash for as much as possible. If you don’t have the cash and it isn’t an emergency – don’t buy it. See the part about self-control.

Learn to separate needs from wants. You need darn few things in life as badly as you want them.

Open a savings when you open a checking account and pay you first, even a little, so you can begin saving for your own house and, yes retirement, and also so you always have emergency funds. Nothing better in the world than owning your own, without having huge bills around your neck.

Find some way to better yourself frequently. [Read] books, go to museums and study something new, keep your mind alive and active and busy. Ask questions of people who know more than you do and listen to the answers. Take a CPR, Heimlich and first aid course so you know what to do in an emergency. Play frequently, but make sure you play nicely. Don’t make me come down there.

Before you just accept what someone tells you as fact, even me – ask yourself – “What do I get out of it if I listen, but more importantly, what do they get out of ME if I listen to them?” If you think they benefit more than you do, consider the alternatives. Think things over carefully and learn NOT to make a fast decision/agreement unless someone’s life is in danger. Thinking is free, but some snap decisions can be very very expensive.

Shana’s note is a little guidebook to growing up. And – proving perhaps that we Americans can find common ground about more than we realize – Meyer is saying the same thing:

It would be natural to wonder why so many consumers took out loans on grossly inflated assets at interest rates that, while initially low, could increase wildly in the future. It would be natural to wonder why so many people bought things they plainly could not afford with credit cards. It would be natural to wonder why the pleasure of buying and having stuff so often outweighs the pain of economic risk and uncertainty.

Answering such questions leads to self-knowledge and changes in behavior. It is educative. Economic education, mixed with a smidge of fire and brimstone, is no longer a part of our schools’ curriculum. That’s a bad call.

Our focus, however, is now on apportioning blame between the financial foxes on Wall Street and the negligent regulators in Washington. And we should be doing just that — just not to the exclusion of looking in the mirror. And growing up.

I have the coolest friends!

By the way, if you like Meyer’s columns, (and we’ve certainly read enough of them on this blog) you may want to check out his upcoming book, Why We Hate Us; American Discontent in the New Millenium.

It is not a rehash of his columns, but an original and thoughtful look at the overmarketed, overconsumed, over-transient America bereft of the old connections (community, family, church) that kept us grounded and somewhat sane and sensible. I think Why We Hate Us will have a broad appeal to both secular and religious people who are grappling with that nameless, nagging sense that things are ‘way off kilter, here. It comes out August 5.

The Perpetual Adolescents

TV/Pop Culture/Music

Previous Post

July 10, 2008

Why shouldn't we help ourselves?

Next Post

July 10, 2008 The Heart and Soul of Baseball

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Remaking" Ourselves 'Remaking' America 9/10 Mindset 9/11 trials Abortion ACORN Adoration Advent Advent 2008 Advent 2009 Advent 2010 Alternative Energy Alternative Media America American Catholic Church American Church American Genius Ameridolatry ANCHORESS BOOKSHELF Anglican-Roman Reconciliation Answers & Questions Anti_Semitism Archbishop Hilarion Ayn Rand Bad Mass Barack Obama Baseball Benedict Benedict & Islam Benedict in UK Benedict XVI Benedictine Bill Whittle Birth Control Blogs and Blogging Blogs and Blogging Bloodless Coup Bobby Jindal Bookchat Breitbart Bride at every wedding... Bride at every wedding... Buckley Bullies Bush Bad? Bush Good Buster Capitalism Catholic Fiction Catholic Vocations Catholicism Celibacy Chaput Charitable Stuff Chesterton Chile Chris Christie Christians in Exile Christine O' Donnell Christmas Christmas Gift Ideas Church Hates Science? Church hates women Communion of Saints Compline Conclave 2013 Confession Constitutional Stuff Conversion Crisis & Opportunity Critical Thinking Crooks and Liars Crucible of Faith Cuba Culture of Life Culture of Life/Death Culture of Treason? Dancing Death Dialogue re Islam Dick Meyer Divorce and Remarriage DOJ Domestic Terrorism Dominican Order Don't try me too high Dowd Dumb Democrat moves Dumb GOP moves Economic woe Education Egregious Harry Reid Elder Son Elder Son's Sweet Girlfriend Elderly Election '10 Election '12 Election '16 Election 2004 Election 2006 Election 2008 Election 2010 Election 2016 Elena Kagan Elitism Embryonic Stem Cell Research End Times? English language Enhanced Interrogation Erosion of Rights Eucharist Euthanasia Exorcism Extraordinary Synod Facebook Faith Faith and Reason Faith Friday Faith Perspective Faithful Friday Fascism Again Fascism in America Fatima FCC Feminism Film First Things Forgiveness Fr. James Martin Francis and Islam Francis in America Frassati Fred Thompson Free Speech? Freedom of Worship FutureChurch Global Pandemic GOP Congress Haiti Head Covering Health Care Here and Queer Hermits Heroes Hitchens Holy Spirit Holy Week '09 Holy Week '10 Hoo-Hah & BS Hoo-Hah & BS Icons Illegal Immigration In The Arena Interviews Interwebz Iran Uprising Iraqi Christians ISIL ISIS Islamic State Islamification/Islamofascism Islamification/Islamofascism Isra-El It's all about me! Me! ME! James Burke Jerry Lewis Jesus Christ Joblessness John Boehner John McCain John Paul II John XXIII Juan Williams Just Words Katrina/Rita King is a Fink Latin Mass Leadership Lectio Divina Lent Lent '08 Lent '09 Lent 2010 Lent 2011 Limbaugh Listen to Lizzie Litigious Society Liturgy Liturgy of the Hours Mainstream Media Manliness Marriage Mary Media Excess Medical Merton Michelle Obama Mighty John O' Connor Misc. Miss Ella Missionaries Mitt Romney Monasticism My brother S My Irish Aunties Mystic Monks Nanny Statism Nature NEA Neri New Media Newman Noonan Notre Dame NPR Stuff Nun News Obama Bad? Obama Good? Obama White House Oil Spill Online Retreat '08 Online Retreat Days Oratory Orthodoxy Our Hillary! Parenting Passionists Patheos Patheos Book Club Patrons Paul Ryan Penance Penn Jillette Philosophy PJTV Podcasts Poetry Politics-free zone Pop Culture Pope Emeritus Pope Francis Prayer Predictions Priesthood Pro-Life Public Sector Unions Purgatory Questions about Catholicism Quotes of the Day Quoting the News Race in America rants Recipes Remarried Catholics Reposts by request Retreat thoughts Rome Rudy Giuliani Russia Saints Sarah Palin Scandal Scott Brown SCOTUS Scriptural stuff Secularism Send in the clowns Serving up hot links Sexuality Sherrod Shroud of Turin Sisters and Nuns Social Entrepreneurship Social Media Social Security Socialism doesn't work Sports and Faith Stem Cells Strange Gods Suffering Synod Tea Parties Tea Party Terri Schiavo The 9/11 Commission The Catholic Answer The Constitution The Desert The Fourth Estate The Pelosi The Perpetual Adolescents The Rosary Third Party? Timothy Dolan Touch of evil TSA Tsunami TV/Pop Culture/Music TV/Pop Culture/Music Twitter Uncategorized Unemployment Unintended Consequences US Military Vaginal Musings Vatican Vespers video faves Vile Joe Biden Voter Fraud War by Litigation War on Terror War, What it good for? Why can't weeee be ... World Youth Days Year of Faith Year of the Priest

Select a Month August 2016 July 2016 April 2016 March 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 August 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book of the Bible contains the Ten Plagues of Egypt?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Leviticus Deuteronomy Genesis Exodus