Come to Coney Island, Pope!

Last updated on: March 17, 2017 at 8:29 pm by Elizabeth Scalia

Come to Coney Island, Pope! 2017-03-17T20:29:45+00:00 Elizabeth Scalia

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Very cute satire from the Onion.

Pope Benedict XVI returned to Rome today following a historic, three-day trip to Six Flags St. Louis, the first official papal visit to a major American theme park since Pope Paul VI’s Thanksgiving Mass at Wet ‘n Wild in August 1966
[…]
Early Saturday morning, Benedict delivered a children’s prayer in Looney Tunes Town, in which he urged “courage, resolve, and strength of stomach when you come face to face with the temptation of XCalibur,” and stressed that they should all “honor thy mother and father, who paid the ultimate price for your $45 day pass.”

“If you are a child over 54 inches tall, your covenant with fun compels you to check out Batman the Ride,” the pope added.

On the third day of the papal visit, bystanders witnessed what some called a minor miracle when Benedict reunited a lost four-year-old boy with his parents. “Today, a young wayward sheep has strayed from his flock, “the pope announced over the park’s P.A. system. “But by the grace of God, he has been found safe and unharmed, and can be picked up at Porky’s Pavilion.”

Next time, Holy Father, you’ll have to try the Cyclone!

Benedict XVI

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